Mad Dog Absurdist Party

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Mad Dog Platform

The Mad Dog Absurdist Party advances this platform. Since the MDAP is a populist organization, The Candidate welcomes any input or feedback or debate on these issues and also any questions about his other positions.

1. Abolish the Dept. of Homeland Paranoia which serves absolutely no purpose but to be the framework for a police state.

2. Promise to veto any piece of legislation that does not fit on one page in plain English.

3. Replace the military with a national paintball team. Use the surplus for education and healthcare.

4. Overhall the healthcare system by making it a crime of usury to sell insurance.

5. Replace regulatory agencies (FTC, FDA etc) with a plaque on the National Mall that says “Caveat Emptor” (more surplus for education and healthcare)

6. Completely legalize hemp and every other plant product. Subsidize hemp agriculture. Regulate and lightly tax all other drugs. Dismantle the prohibition industry.

7. Overhaul the oxymoronic criminal justice system by making district attorneys into dogcatchers. The only crime the State needs to prosecute is murder and only then if the victim has no one to file suit in their behalf. Everything else will be handled by lawsuit. If someone is damaged they can sue. This will eliminate victimless crimes. Also every man woman and child should carry a gun—instant justice.

8. Turn the two million prison beds in this country into hospitals, hospices and hostles.

9. Streamline the tax system by instituting a value-added tax and a severely progressive income tax (anything over a million a year goes to the treasury)

10. The beam that every plank of this platform is supported by is Body Sovereignty. We all own our bodies.