My mom has left us

[Doreen Peri]

11:08am Saturday, March 1, 2014
RIP Dorothy Simons, the most wonderful mom a girl could have ever hoped for.
She lived a long and fulfilling life. She was 98 years old.
She died peacefully while she was sleeping, exactly what she had always wanted.

It feels like a dream.... it's so unreal. Despite her longevity and despite the fact we have expected this for years, it will take some time to accept. I'll miss her so much! I am now an orphan. I will hang onto the belief that she is now reunited with my dad who has been waiting for her since he departed in 1996, and is in a better place, a place where there is no pain and suffering.

Thank you for listening.

[stilltrucking]

Even so I would like to extend my condolences.

I want to share this— I have been an orphan thirty years and I have never awakened from a dream of my mother with any sadness, she is still with me.

I think the first time it happened, when I realized in the dream that she was gone, that I could not be actually with her, she reassured me that it did not matter, "it's okay jacky"" Since then she has always been kind and gentle in my dreams

[judih]

Oh, may she rest in peace, dear doreen
I'm so sorry for your loss. an impossible loss. no matter how logical such loss is. It's huge.
hugs

jack, a calmer mind you offer to doreen and us all. thanks
doreen you're not alone. there's huge love for you from us all and from the many poets and artists and others you've touched.
let us love you from afar. just say yes

[Steve Plonk]

Doreen, sorry to hear of your Mom's passing. May she rest in peace...
We all are with you to share this time of sorrow & release.

[Doreen Peri]

Thank you very much, my friends. Your kind thoughts and support mean a lot to me. Much love to you all.

[judih]

back to you, thank you for reaching out.
love to you

[WIREMAN]

My prayers are with her tonight Doreen.....peace and love my dear friend.

[Doreen Peri]

Thank you, Mark, judih, Steve & Jack.

We had a beautiful Memorial Service yesterday. There was a slide show of photos of my mom throughout her life on a big screen during the service. In the background, we played Frank Sinatra singing "When You're Young at Heart", her favorite Sinatra song. She loved Sinatra. It was especially touching to me because there were several photos of her 2 of my sisters selected which I had never seen before. (We all contributed photos for the slide show). It was like meeting my Mom when she was young for the first time.

I woke up today crying. I'm grieving. I'm going to miss her so much.

It's such an odd thing. You expect something for a long time (she was 98 years old) but when it really happens, it's different. I didn't expect to react like this. I guess it will take some time.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go

e.e. cummings

[mtmynd]

as you well know,the light within your mom burns eternally, Doreen. it is only this rascally body of ours that was never made, and never intended, to live but a short time. fortunately, those who have influenced us and will continue influencing us, be it good or not, live within us and continue forming us until our own passing arrives.

my own mother continues to be in my dreams and even can occasionally be heard in the early morning hours shuffling as she did, within our home, left to us by her. this from a guy who never believed in such things..!

[Doreen Peri]

Yes, our bodies are temporary, Cecil. Coming to understand and accept mortality is difficult for me. Somehow, though I lost my Christian faith some time back, I still believe our spirits live on in another realm. I'm on a spiritual search. I need to find a faith or create my own where I can make sense of it all.

I, too, have dreams where the departed come to me and let me know they are now whole and healed and OK. I KNOW it's them. These particular dreams are very special to me. Maybe I will write them down and share them.

That's really a special thing that you can sometimes hear your mom in your house shuffling about.

Mom has not yet come to me in a dream but I know she will. I'm going to find the link to her obituary and share it where you all can see how beautiful she was. There's a slide show on the site with a lot of photos.

Thank you!

[Doreen Peri]

Below is a link to the obituary. There was a beautiful slide show of these photos projected onto a large TV screen as part of the service. Some of the photos I had never seen before so it was like meeting my mom for the first time when she was a young lady. In the background of the photos there were photos of hyacinths and waterfalls flowing ... it was absolutely lovely. My mom loved Frank Sinatra and her favorite song was "When you're young at heart" so we turned down the sound from the video slide show and played Sinatra singing that song at the same time the video ran. It was extremely touching. My nephew produces videos so my sister and nephew will be working on a video of the photos with Sinatra playing in the background for all of the family members to keep.

Click on the link below, then click on the link on the lefthand column to view photos of my mom through the years. She was truly a gorgeous woman... movie star quality.

http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dignit ... &FHID=2167

[Doreen Peri]

Whoops.. I see I have repeated myself. Oh well. Shows you were my mind is right now.... it's not together. I am lying in bed crying. I wake up crying every day. I'm going back to sleep. I'll get through this.

[stilltrucking]

judih wrote:

jack, a calmer mind you offer to doreen and us all. thanks

If I have a calm mind it is only because thirty years have passed since my mom left me.

Doreen wrote:

I lost my Christian faith some time back

I don't think that matters, it is your mom's faith that mattered.

Thank you for the link to the beautiful website.

for what it might be worth to you

The Creation of Creativity

James Joyce, . . .

Each of his works deals with grief[2]...
mourning, a natural process, frees the participant upon its completion. The mourning or death process is similar to the creative process … the mourning process is a death process for the living in which the participant travels the cycle of adjustment when a loved one leaves.


http://critique-magazine.com/article/joyce.html

thank you for being a friend

[Arcadia]

Hugs to you Doreen ... Tomorrow I was -fifteen years ago- mother-orphan oficially ... and I still feel sometimes like Simone de Beauvoir in "Une Mort très douce" despite I know it´s not healthy and it doesn´t resonate at all with other visions and feelings I have towards reality-life-death or whatever now ... but I´m learning at least to observe the contradictions ...

It´s admirable to me -and so different culturally of what we are used to here- what you told about the funeral, I´ll look to the photos later, gracias for sharing them with us & take care, amiga ...

[Doreen Peri]

I don't think that matters, it is your mom's faith that mattered.

Yes, and we kept her wishes by honoring her faith during the memorial service. The poem I wrote and read had several stanzas which focused on her faith.

MY faith matters because I am no longer a deist and I don't have any faith, really, other than knowing that we are spiritual beings. Therefore, I have a difficult time with handling death. I don't know whether the spirit lives on separately or whether it combines with a universal consciousness or whether consciousness simply ceases to exist and after death there is nothing left of the person.... they are simply gone. I really don't think ANYBODY knows... but many people have a faith which helps them through times like this. If the latter is the case and we simply cease to exist, it leaves little meaning for me in this life and when we lose a loved one, part of the grieving process is dealing with mortality itself, including our own, and especially the mortality of the loved one who we have lost. So, I am on a spiritual quest where I will either have to find a faith in SOMETHING so that I can better deal with things like this or create a belief system of my own so I can better deal with it. Thank you, judih, for your kind post and the quote.

......

Thanks very much, Veronica!


Much love to all.