What am I missing here?

[the flaming ace]

i don't know the diff tween ethos and pathos
taking off, man, what a release
took off from santa cruz with $650
rode the bus to st louie
had grass in my pack
paranoid smoking st louie bus depot
cops hovering merciful
rode on to the city
paranoid blacks back seat
accused me of saying racial slurr
"did you say niggah?"
i fetal baby several seats up
rode across the bridge from new jersey
into the dawn
no worries i was there before

\october '80

[stilltrucking]

I never had any fear
until that black guy called me a nigger andthen when my back was turned he hit me upside the head with a two by four.

I suppose I had no business going into the ghetto to give my teamster brother "rerun" a ride home.

I was a little too color blind.

Hester I am so sorry for pathologicaly highjacking this thread.

I dont want to get on your nerves too.

[the flaming ace]

Where is Hester when we need her?
my nerves were frayed
but they seem to be getting better
hope i can pull outA this dive
ground effect in the flare
aerodynamic wave

ditch in the golfo
onto da beach
playa de nada

chemo sabe

[stilltrucking]

This bit in green was added after the original post

They say that friends come and go but enemies accumulate.
I am running out of enemies bro.
But I still like the idea of an operation Canadian freedom. Canada is wasted on Canadians.

Just kind of shook up about that.
You honey hearted about it.

I suppose I forget that they are foreigners too. They been getting screwed on the money for years. No wonder they resent us. But their tables are turning. It is down to twenty cents on the dollar now. When I was working at that truck stop a Canadian dollar was worth fifty cents USA.


I remember when I first read your story about meeting those friends of your father's about the time you made your decision about the air force.
These days I feel like an orphan too.

"After all these years
I am still alive
Cut me loose
Let me fly” jitterbug

I wanted to fly too Ace, I tried to join a glider club in Michigan, but I had to get a pilot's license first. Everything was going swell right up to when I was ready to solo. Went down for my flight physical and flunked because of my 4F status.

Don’t be a hero
Bail out if you can.
Have you ever read Catch 22? Do you remember the pilot named Orr?

ten four on needing hester, have you ever heard her sing?
I am bummed out cause her music got deleted, she had four songs posted, let me see if I can remember them,
bye bye blackbird,
don’t get around much anymore,
it had to be you,
I forgot the other one. She is a torcher.
Speaking about loving women have you read this one on creative.

Nocturnes

Where is WD, do you think she is afraid of mice?

[whimsicaldeb]

I don't think Deb will come back to this thread
but I want to stay open to that possibility regardless.

I'm here, I have indeed came back into the thread to check out what's happening ...

[stilltrucking]

I know how you feel Deb
I am afraid of mice too

[hester_prynne]

Indeed this may be one of those rare threads that goes on and on into nowhere for eternity.......
Interesting branches sprouting under the concept of bigotry. Shanghaied, into a funhouse of mirrors weren't we?
The shock of a reflection, that flash, and then you usually look away.
Until now.
You gave it instead, a direct gaze.
And when I did, I was reeling.
My heart was pumping my blood, loudly.
Why so hard to say no?
So easy to say must.

"Rave on words on printed page"
VM

H

[whimsicaldeb]

Indeed this may be one of those rare threads that goes on and on into nowhere for eternity.......

... I sure hope not!
It seems to me it's run it's course and completed.
but ...

[Arcadia]

ahh...! hola!!, great to see most of you smiling!!!

[mnaz]

Not quite goin' to make it to 300 posts, are we, on this ultimate sort of bizarro let's-destroy-ourselves-for-no-particular-compelling-reason sort of non event? Hmm... Just as I thought. Sign of the times. Again.

[hester_prynne]

Hell, we can make it to 300 easy! Not sure I understand what you mean Mnaz, hope you aren't mad or disappointed....? If so, why? If not, okay good, just me being too sensitive again....

Indeed, we resume smiling Arcadia, but it doesn't mean that I am exactly happy with how this thread came out. I mean it's like congress and the senate, some really really compelling things come up and then go down, into nowhere. It all remains the same, people holding on really tight, unwilling to open up to something new, and maybe better than what they are glued to, conditioned to. This thread just led to disappointment. Disappointment, sure, I can get over that....I mean I have to, life is full of it.

It was Bigotry in action. It was arrogance, and bullying passion.
It was "do as I say or off with your heads" in real life.
It was about reaching resolution, and unfortunately that did not happen. The only thing that happened is that some went off thinking they had "won". I think that sadly, that's all they can handle. They have to feel like that, like they "won", and are more enlightened than others.

It's very parallel to the tired argument about sticking with the "Iraqi freedom mission" because we must win. Win what, a fucking bogus war funded by corporation cronies of the current governmental thugs, in exchange for privatization rights over oil stolen from a small helpless country, under the guise of a terror threat on democracy? Yeah, sure, go ahead and win the fucking war, by all means, even if it's criminal, illegal, and a rape of our morale.

I wish I didn't care about anything, or anyone. I wish that I could reduce myself into a two dimensional, ignorant, shallow, hollow, colorless, helpless, submissive sex machine, willing to suck the juice out of anything that moved, swallow hard and loud, and not care a whit about it. I think that's what it takes anymore to have any credibility.
But I can't do it. I just can't. I don't want to. The thought upsets me and makes me very very afraid.

H
"live from hestoria, it's saturday night and i'm fucking lonely, but i wouldn't want to be with anyone either.."

[mnaz]

Disappointed?

Thing is, when you care and yet are treated as if you don't, then yes... that's a disappointment. Good night everyone.

[jimboloco]

i only won because i lost
and was willing to lose
i lost a bit on subdued insolence
coughed it up
spat it out
let it go
i surprised meself
was happy to get caught
the thread went into quantum leaps
and for this am gratefully
not dead.

opened and empty.

[hester_prynne]

I didn't want to win or lose.
I wanted to go through, shaking hands at the exit.
Later send a Christmas card.....
H

[mousey1]

winning or losing
it matters not
it's how you play the game

integrity intact

unfortunately there are always some who are blind to that.

if one is determined to pat themselves on their own back let it be for the right reasons...like releasing all that hot air of self so they can come down to earth with the rest of us roses.


mnaz said:

when you care and yet are treated as if you don't, then yes... that's a disappointment

it is indeed.

if disappointments were paper I could cover a wall with my manifest destiny.