I miss the darkness

Creative complaints & humor.
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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » July 18th, 2007, 8:54 am

Image
guilt trips
inverted and discolored
st john's fragmented manuscript
DYAENa i was A
TIEN CHAN WU
SNMCKMAN
IDTIOT
Ka EITT
luu
think it was made in china

one good trip with my black mare in the high desert
next trip in portsmouth
crying
nice ripples of light on the trees tho\

next trip the road became a dragon rising
last one the walls were moving and i had to work
wired and wasted

did some shrooms last year mild
like my straight mind
Last edited by jimboloco on July 18th, 2007, 9:10 am, edited 2 times in total.
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » July 18th, 2007, 9:05 am

i don't know
it's different reading kerouak buddhist litergies
from Gary Snyders
who survives and is healthy

ya gotta remember i sneaked into the kerouak house's back yard
about a mile from here
real spooky
nobody lives there after all these years
yet the house and yard is maintained
his phone number was in the book when i first ooked
about 15 years ago
always wiith a busy signal

down beat yeah
slaves
rowers captive
slamming them down

we got the stock market spurting thru the ceiling
what good is it to us beats
condemned yet
so
traditional

if i was a genius
i'd be a mere precondition for my work

mind weeds
fertile ground for growth anyhow
but not so seperate
i tow my shit with me
out of time and space
out of place
did a buddhist bow in tai chi
the lady waved it off with a scoff
just cause she had slant eyes i guess

got to read something to get me outa this funk
gonna post a sad drawing of liberation
when i scan it

bumming
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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stilltrucking
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Location: Oz or somepLace like Kansas

Post by stilltrucking » July 18th, 2007, 9:42 am

He wrote beautiful words
so many people found pleasure
if redemption is a given
he redeemed himself

I am just old and alone
and I am going to get aloner
these are my good old days

The blue snake goddess will dance for me
I keep the faith

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » July 18th, 2007, 9:44 am

Image
http://www.jaguarmoon.org/public/Goddess/kaliblue.gif
She is known to us as Kali, Hecate, Cerridwen, Lilith, Persephone, Fata Morgana, Ereshkigal, Arianhrod, Durga, Inanna, Tiamat, and by a million other names.


http://www.jaguarmoon.org/public/Goddess/Dark.htm
The problem of Feminine Masochism is beyond me
I spent a life time going steady with Paper Dolls Like Sylvia Plath.
But her death never taught me anything
It was her life's work that learned me

Going to study on Kerouac for awhile
cause men are such simple creatures.

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Arcadia
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Joined: August 22nd, 2004, 6:20 pm
Location: Rosario

Post by Arcadia » July 18th, 2007, 12:42 pm

"We started walking anyway... it was no fun!!."

yeah it was no fun but it was good
(and nobody died crossing the stream!)


complaining just for complain
we are addicted to these games sometimes
making a national sport of that

cousin in Madrid for an year
among spanish, italian and mostly other latinamericans
she can relate about it
she said, that after a month
the other students told her that everybody thought
that she will leave the place
"it´s so cold"
"it´s so hot"
"damn food"
"damn lectures"
(or something like that)
talking
and laughing about it
they realized that everybody thought the same... but it wasn´t in their possible worlds to say it or they consider it unnecesary
and that she was ok
she is here again for a month
and now she is complaining that everybody is complaning...

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » July 18th, 2007, 12:56 pm

Image
trapped
in kid's bodymind
shaming moments
define boy's dread

a captive boy
two ladies
both of whom
are now dead

calm centered and confident
i got my kerouak
and my hotter than hot summertime
ain't no hurricaine
no complaint like the black man
who will not back down
in the long run
will overcome
come hell or high water

nickel and dime complaints
drive me crazy
they're in madrid
what's to complain
unless on a train with al_qaidumbasses
madrid is great
and just for measure
i googled argentina
flew over rosario
and up into the mountains
Last edited by jimboloco on July 18th, 2007, 1:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » July 18th, 2007, 12:57 pm

i don't think jack had any late life writings
his good stuff had been wrought
no reason to dismiss the sane man
before his fall from grace
and you can open up to any page

I
....clearly
................saw
.......................the skeleton underneath
all
......this
...............show
......................of personality
what
.........is
.............left
..................of a man and all his pride
but bones?

and all his lost snacks o'nights. . .
...and the bathtubs of liquor
......thru his gullet
..............................bones--He mopes
................................................in the grave,
................................................facial features
................................................changed by worms
.....................................................*
.......................................................*
.........................................................*
...........................................................*
from him
.............is heard
........................no more
.....................................................*
.......................................................*
.........................................................*
...........................................................*
Life is sick
Dogs cough
Bees sail
Birds hack
Trees saw
Woods cry
Men die
Ticks try
Books lie
Ants fly
Goodbye

1960
city lights books

from scattered poems
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » July 19th, 2007, 6:55 pm

I don't know how many mushrooms I ate. A baggy full. Got nauseous and felt chilled to the bone, I thought about calling 911/ but decided to just lay down and die because it seemed easier than having my stomach pumped. I fell into stupor, semiconscious with my eyes closed. The hallucinations began. . Everything I was afraid of came on like a technicolor movie. The snakes morphed into a dancing woman with snake arms. Not sure it was Kali but she was that shade of blue.

Not exactly that shade, a little lighter more of a silver blue. But definetly had the appearance of a Hindu Goddess.

If I opened my eyes the hallucinations stopped, but every thing looked kind of mazy and I began to feel nauseous so I kept my eyes closed.

The strange thing was that in my field of internal visions there was a little red X in the upper right hand corner like windows XP. If I got bored with one hallucination all I had to do was mentaly click on the red x and move on to the next one.



This board is well named.

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » July 21st, 2007, 9:57 pm

No hallucination can compare with clarity

karma unfolding

visiting my mother with my wife
in her books i saw
jack london collected works
she said she especially liked
the sea wolf
said the movie version was lousy
i started to read it
will look for a used version when we get back to st pete
thanks
kali
creative destruction
had a pic of her on my apartment wall
left it there when i moved out with my future wife
she captured my anger and transformed it
where is kali when we need her?
everyone is complaining about the darkness
there is no light
can there be illumination in the darkness?

can a complaint in the darkness vanish into the dark?
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » July 23rd, 2007, 6:03 am

i love my mother
she wrote memoirs of her travels after harry died
she has a daughter
a granddaughter a great granddaughter
i saw them all briefly together in my vision field
yesterday in the darkness
with great clarity
i fell off my ass
had an epiph·a·ny
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » July 23rd, 2007, 11:27 am

It is a sweet thing to feel a mother's love
My sister could use a mother's love.
or at least a sister's
It is probably too late

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » July 24th, 2007, 8:26 am

it's not too late for a brother to love his sister
it's not too late for a brother to love his brother

it is too late for a grandson to love his grandmother
she got pissed when he refused duty as an air farce pilot
the unforgiveable
he was her pride
he became her accursed
fuck it
she's dead already
i just need to reduce her negative intensity in my haid
amen
Image
picture i copied in pastel
placed on my grandmother's wall at the foot of her last bed
sleepy baby
amazing the amount of hurt than one can harbour
out with the tide
did it to save cambodian children grandma
laotian children
vietnamese children
unknown to you
unfelt by you
you who only knew new mexico western americana manifest superiority
you who told me that you had consolation that my father's early death meant that he never had to know me like i am, was, or what ever, bitch
good luck

at least with my mombo
i can talk now and appreciate the good things

rest in peace
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » July 25th, 2007, 4:56 am

What I don't get is plenty
Human behavior is over determined
What we say
Bubbles up from hurt harbored

Sounds like she still suffered from the loss of her son

Maureen Dowd said of Cindy Sheehan
That a grieving mothers moral authority is absolute
What Dowd did not say?
Was that the grieving mothers who lost their sons and still support Bush and the war has moral authority?

I don't know.

My grandmother loved me
I kind of wish she had not spent so much time washing my little noodle when I was just a little jackster
Maybe I would not have turned out to be such a narcissistic prick

I used to have a picture of the Madonna and Child and on the back was a quote from George Jackson the Soledad brother.
"I came into this world an innocent and trusting babe"





The last two members to sign on to studio eight have been Rose and Ellen
Quite a coincidence.

Four o clock in the morning central time
We are soaked the rains keep coming
morning mourning maniac ramble
going to try and get some more sleep
Franz Fanon been on my mind the last couple days
I even had a dream about him a couple nights ago.
Maybe again last night.

This morning I awoke from a dream about two cops murdered
A black psychiatrist(Franz Fanon again?), let me clean up in his bathroom after I had shit my pants, then I was lost in a strange city on the eastern seaboard trying to catch a ride back to baltimore, wandering the streets looking for a trucking company. I love my dreams. Cheap entertainment, only trouble is I am dreaming my life away.
The Zen dude asked me to ask myself
"Am I awake"

I hope your day at the jewel mine goes well
I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up
I think would like to be a medicine man too.

too fucking late for that.
I got the perfect education for a truck driver
12 years as a sophomore pre med student
jack off of all knowledge

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » August 1st, 2007, 8:35 am

sunday eve, i like swooped down off the freeway down onto fifth avenuea 50 foot drop on a smooth incline that breaks off to the right off an elevated freeway just north of downtown st pete

it goes down for 100 yards, more or less,
way down there i saw a cardboard sign an i knew a drifter vagabond was standing there at the northeast corner of fifth avenue and the freeway exit
but hey i was in the right lane, the light was green,
i saw the cars clear out, swept across fifth avenue heaing south, glanced over and the fellow was walking it off, a look of resignation on his face,

i went across, and changed to the left lane,
made a u-turn a hard 160 degree abrupt left about face,
drove on up to fifth avenue to the freeway entrance ramp going th other way, man,
this is going somewhere, i yam telling you,
turned left on fifth and back to the bum's corner,
stopped, put on my flashers, and waved at the fellow,
he comes over, i hand him a five and my package of american spirit tobacco
shit, he smiles, he's got bags under his eyes, long outdoors beard and hair,
has on a fatigue jacket,
don't know if that'san affectation,
but the militarios don't got no monopoly on fatigue outdoors jackets,
it's just that a true outdoorsman would probably be wearing red flannel
plaid
so let's see
this fellow came up to the window and i like greeted him with a fist tap, ya know?
don't have to engage in a full handshake, safer, cooler, more hip,
he says's, "keep it showin, man,"
today after my zen therapist i went over to weeden island, a nature preserve on tampa bay, enjoyed the yellow wildflowers and the sawgrass,
cruised over to the gray zone,
the doctor was inn
smoked a joint
listened to th travailing wildberries,
came on home,
still had a stash of bugler's gold outside,
rolled one,
it was good,
damn, think i'll have another one
life is good
plus am working on my second shot of old dutch vodka
with a shot of lime,
lemon in th foist one,
mercy

this
one more for the road
a shot of vodka with a twist of lemon-lime
roll a stiff of bugler's gold
outside in the back

then sttart getting ready for tomorrow gotta wash my threads for work tow days
pick up the kid at five
onto the doctor's at six for th tai chi club
to be to be dooo

unfortunately i gotta get up at five in the mawning

keep it showin!

unfortunately i called in nauseated from the tobacco
skipped tai chi
ad nauseum
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » August 1st, 2007, 8:38 am

when i was five in the winter in colorado
i wanted to carry a large bottle of wine from the car into the house
white light all around
white stucco wall, snow on the ground,
ice on the walkway and front step,
"dad" let me carry the large bottle of wine,
i slipped and broke the bottle
mercy
what thhe fuck was he thinking
it was a setup for disazter

i came into this world an unwelcome and suspicious babe
now i am innocent and trusting
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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