Man Walks Into a Bar Jokes

[Lightning Rod]

Ok, I know some of you have a 'Man walks into a bar' jokes
let's hear them.

Here's my first one:

Guy goes into a bar
he sits down next to a semi-blowsey 40 year old woman

She's not too bad looking, they start a conversation

She asks him if he has ever done a mother/daughter fuck?

He says, 'No'

"Well are you interested?"

He's thinking, "She's not too bad, but I'll bet she has a hot daughter."

He says, 'Sure.'

They go to her house.

As they walk into the door, she shouts out, "Mom? Are you awake?"

[Lightning Rod]

queer walks into a bar
he has a little dog

he puts the dog up on the bar
the bartender says, "who is this?'

the queer says, "this dog can give the best head in the world."

bartender: "I don't believe you."

queer says, "Come out back and I'll show you."

they go out back and the bartender unzips

the dog just sits there

bartender wiggles it

then the queer turns to the dog and grabs the bartender's cock

and says, "Ok, I'm only gonna show you how to do this one more time."

badaboom

[Lightning Rod]

A guy walks into a bar and sees a woman at the end of the bar. The man says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer and I'd like to buy a drink for the douchebag at the end of the bar. The bartender says, "OK, but you shouldn't talk to a woman like that." The bartender asks the woman what she would like. The woman says, "I'll have a vinegar and water."

---
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.....

[Doreen Peri]

the third one is a funny joke I have told myself before.

The other 2 are really sick and totally not funny.

[Lightning Rod]

I'm not asking for a moral review of jokes I didn't even write, doreen

I'm asking you to share yours

[Doreen Peri]

It has nothing to do with morality. It has to do with taste.

I don't like the jokes. They're not funny and they're in bad taste.

shrug

[Lightning Rod]

it's the nature of the MWIAB jokes to be in bad taste
it's part of the genre
that's comedy 101

if you don't like the smell of beer, then stay out of bars

[Doreen Peri]

Not the man walked into a bar jokes I've known. None of them were in bad taste. Even the vinegar and water one isn't in bad taste. It's funny!

Here's one...

Man walked into a bar with a pelican on head. Bartender says, "What can I do for you?" And the pelican said, "Get this man out from under me!"

[bennie2]

a man walks into a bar with a giraffe. The giraffe sits down by the bar and goes to sleep. the man says, "can I have a pint please?" the barman says, "hey! you can't leave that lying there!" the man says, "it isn't a lion, it's a giraffe."

--

a man walks into a bar and says, "ouch", it was an iron bar.

---

a muslim, a jew and a christian walk into a bar together... talk about ethnic diversity!

[Lightning Rod]

Not the man walked into a bar jokes I've known. None of them were in bad taste. Even the vinegar and water one isn't in bad taste. It's funny!

Here's one...

Man walked into a bar with a pelican on head. Bartender says, "What can I do for you?" And the pelican said, "Get this man out from under me!"

All I can say, doreen, is that you obvously have never eaten a pussy that had been douched in vinegar and water. Hardly good taste. (badaboom)

Here's my variation on your joke:

Cop walks into a bar with a pelican on his head. Bartender says to the cop, There is a pelican on your head. The cop just looks stupid. The pelican answers, "No, I've got a cop on my tail."

[Lightning Rod]

bennie, what was the muslim doing there?

[Lightning Rod]

ok, you inspired me bennie

here's one that I did write:

Muslim walks into a bar
sits down next to an unveiled woman
can I buy you a drink?
yes, what are you having?
I don't drink, I am a muslim, we do not partake of alcohol.

what are you doing in a bar then?
just trying to pick up girls
oh, and I have a bomb strapped to my waist
your place or mine?

[bennie2]

the muslim was there because the joke wouldn't work if I'd said "a jew and two christians..."

I like the dog/blowjob joke.

ok, you inspired me bennie

here's one that I did write:

Muslim walks into a bar
sits down next to an unveiled woman
can I buy you a drink?
yes, what are you having?
I don't drink, I am a muslim, we do not partake of alcohol.

what are you doing in a bar then?
just trying to pick up girls
oh, and I have a bomb strapped to my waist
your place or mine?

haha...! great!

[mtmynd]

a man in a bar orders a drink. the drink didn't respond.

[Lightning Rod]

Man walks into a bar with an alligator
He asks the bartender: Do you serve lawyers here?
Bartender says, 'sure'

Man says, "Ok, I'll have a beer and a lawyer for my friend here."