I Plead Insanity

[Sober Duck]

I Plead Insanity
By
Richard Moylan Jr.
"Your Honor. All I wanted to do was return one trivial little gift I received. I didn't go there to cause any trouble."

"Well Mr. Duck, trouble you did cause. I have before me an estimate for damages you caused at Leathers Are Us to the tone of $14,000.00. What do you have to say for your self?"

"Like I said, all I wanted to do was return a tasteless gift that I would have never used. I believe it was given to me as a joke. A bondage variety pack."

What's that got to do with the extensive damage you caused and why did you throw the clerk though a plate glass window? Good thing for you he wasn't hurt."

"When I entered the bondage department I believed that the return of my unusual gift would be understood. But no! The clerk of course asked me for the receipt. Naturally the item being a gift did not come with a receipt. I explained to the clerk that it was a gift and I wanted to return it. He then said I'm sorry but all sales are final, besides I think you would look good in it." Well Your Honor, after enduring the frustrations of the holidays, spending all my money on gifts and having to deal with the Christmas hassle I lost it and out the window the clerk went."

"But Mr. Duck you destroyed most of their showroom."

"Your Honor, how was I supposed to know that all the employees were sado-masochists. All of a sudden I had my hands full. There were six of them, and we sure went around a bit before the police arrived. I believe I am guilty of only about 1/7 of the damage. I mean there were six of them."

"Your Honor, I plead insanity!