**** Mental Health Hotline ***

[BuddhistPunk]

If you're Obsessive Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are Co - Dependant have someone press 2 for you.

If you have Multiple Personalities press 3,4,5,and 6.

If you are Paranoid, We know who you are, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.

If you're Manic Depressive it doesn't matter which line you press no one will answer.

If you're schizophrenic listen closely, and a small voice will tell you which line to press.

If you're dyslexic press 969696969696.

If you're Psychotic, put away any sharp objects, then maybe we'll talk to you.

If you're grandiose, no one here is worthy of talking to you.