Leaving the Vatican

[panta rhei]

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave. The Jews realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle aged man named Moishe to represent them. Moishe asked for one addition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The pope agreed.
The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger.

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Jews can stay."

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said: "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe. "What happened?" they asked. "Well," said Moishe, "First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here."

"And then?" asked a woman.

"I don't know," said Moishe. "He took out his lunch and I took out mine."

[judih]

ah yes,
sweet subjectivity

sometimes it's all you need
sometimes it's the last thing you need

[mousey1]

And on the seventh day

God created humour

He said.....

"You're gonna need it!"

Sheesh, I gotta quit putting words in the big guys mouth..... there are penalties!

Thanks Panta for the excellent laugh!

[stilltrucking]

Thanks that was sweet
Stop me if you heard this one.

Maybe Groucho

The priest and the Reb sitting next to each other at a dinner or something.

The priest asked the rabbi if he has ever eaten pork.
The rabbi says yes but only once.
Then he asks the priest if he has ever made love to a woman.
The priest answers yes, one time.
The rabbi says, “Was it better then pork?”

Three or four million people peacefully assembled. Says something about the man. He always made me nervous though. It must be my Shapiro polish blood.
I always tell one joke too many.
When he was first elected I heard this one.

Today the first Polish pope performed his first miracle, he made a lame man blind."

May he rest in peace?