My pains for you are such that ought offend

[joel]

My pains for you are such that ought offend
you—isn’t that the cause of honesty
or cost of truth or aim of love as love
exalted mystifies high thoughts? But take
my pains for what is truly pain: a vain
desire to be the beauty known in you.
I’d rather celebrate your personhood
as holy, but my truer ego would
delight to masquerade my glory through
a spread of your accomplishments. My pain
is such that ought offend you. Please, mistake
me not: I sin – and boldly sin – to love
you weakly, true alone as quietly
I verse: dishonest love is love pretend.