Up parallel against you

[joel]

Up parallel against you have I shoved
my flesh with earnest, grimaced, teeth-clenched zest,
compassionate and hungry for the man
for whom my hands have torn themselves and bled
to grasp concupiscence in faith—and so
devoted, hungry, hopeful have I been—
and who are you whose silhouette reflects
my ardor? Who are you whose depth inspects
these salted whimper eyes that strained have seen
so tenderly their desperation show
its face upon a countenance (instead
of yours, my lover’s soul) none other than
mine own? Have I but loved a mirror best?
Then why am I so feared and you so loved?

[Perdida]

I sit here in wonder of you.

"Have I but loved a mirror best? "

omg, this line just jumps out, like BANG! Here i am, here it is.

The placement, perfect, i reckon. *smile*

P

[Lightning Rod]

joel, your use of the delayed consonance of the words
concupiscence and countenance
is wonderful, though I know you probably never intended it

I would never presume to use the word concupiscence in a poem or polite conversation for that matter.
You're a better man that I am.

Looking forward to meeting you tomorrow.

[joel]

it was great meeting you and doreen face-to-face. thanks for the pronunciation lesson. con-KYOO-piss-ants: i won't forget.

[Doreen Peri]

Great meeting you, too, Joel! It was excellent! Hope we can do it more times more including whatever collaborative ideas come to mind like the one-act play idea and would love to play some piano while you recite and all that... i'm not only fulla ideas but some people think i'm fulla shit but hey God lets me say that word because He or She created language and that's just one of the many words.

lol

Your spoken word poems are now in the spoken word forum
http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=10720
... a novel idea, no? lol ...

and some photos on the discussion forum.
http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=10715

Hope Love Peace Pleasure Purpose
may the next gig be perfect for you