Dog in the Passenger Seat

[jim turner]

Hey, Man! Open the wind-
ow! Bumped my nose on glass!
My best part, can send
me flying–bet your ass
that’s how I feel when my ears
flap till I wouldn’t hear a bomb
and my soulful eyes drip tears
You remember Fatso Dumb-
oh–pachydermic bumblebee–
who couldn’t fly but did?
Watched him, we did, on teevee
as a pup–or was I ‘dopted kid?

Open the wind-er, man!
This car’s inside’s a tomb
embalmed with after shave
or laughing gas. My smeller’s numb.
So come on, Man, behave!
No laughs breathing he-man’s
AC-recycled he-manations,
Your body odor I can sniff at home.
And the inside of this car?
Well, open the window,
let in something clean and fresh
before I puke.
Don’t like my language?
That’s a dog’s word,
"Puke." Your nose ain’t dog,
but you’d smell that all right.

And get outta town, will ya?
I don’t need no monoxide
or bubblegum and black crack-
spit-smeared sidewalks,
(not no grammar lessons, neither)
pissalley and peetsa parlor breath.
You can skip beer joints
and nicotine fogs, too--
booze and terbacky ain’t puppy chow.
I gotta have my wits and lungs.

Come on, man! Roll down the winder!
Let my nose stick out and my ears
flap in the wind till I can’t hear.
I just wanna SMELL! (not STINK,
which I’m gonna do
if you don’t learn some obedience.)
What I want is rural ambience.
Country’s what I want
and I don’t mean guitars.
If I gotta smell s**t
It oughta be quail or cottontail rab-bit
or even cow. There, now–THANKS!
that’s music to my nose.

But I’ll lay you ten to one,
we come to trees
you ain’t gonna stop.

Jim 6/27/09

[judih]

This is marvellous, Jim
all the car-travelling dogs in the world are thanking you for telling it straight