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assorted sordid

Posted: March 2nd, 2005, 1:03 pm
by balsa
no key for a rusted lock
on the crawl space door
rats nest warm inside

large drop rings a puddle
her hand between a bottle
of whiskey and pills


seagulls above a parking lot
an abandoned truck
with a bullet hole

spring break
home from the front
without a hand

Posted: March 3rd, 2005, 10:08 am
by sooZen
Balsa...welcome to haiku and the studio! So glad to see you here and to have your ku's accompany you.

"spring break
home from the front
without a hand"

This one had me puzzled at first. I guess my mind didn't want to go 'there'. Hah!

Again, welcome and I hope to see many more of your excellent haiku.

Peace.
SooZen

Posted: March 5th, 2005, 11:33 pm
by beat_fan
Your first two have a weird rythym to them. Their fast-moving haiku. Number two didn't catch hold of me really. The third one did, and the second time I read i sort of understood it. It has a good sense of space.
You have a very interesting voice.