Obituaries warning this thread is rated (PG-70)

[zero_hero]

Ha! looking at a woman like she is a side of meat. Down and dirty in the surreal world, the subterranean subconscious, the timeless world of my dreams and fantasy.The repression loosens its grip as I top the hill. Over the event horizon of consciousness and get a glimpse of the other side.
"The not quite conscious stuff" Meaty words.



Dead Meat.
A friend tells me I am an oppressor of women. I think he must be right. That is why I stopped fucking thirty years ago.
Still to this day they haunt me but not as much except for the the occasional dream when I wake up dripping wet with sweat. The air conditioner turned down to zero.

I think about Sylvia Plath's dainty skull probably all polished by now. I think about Dorothy Stratten's breasts are they still there.

Jimmy carter got nothing on me.
All I can do is be aware of my double mindedness about them. Now that I am getting ready to write my obituary. I read somewhere that the oil spill in the gulf of mexico is the biggest story of two thousand ten but I think my obituary will knock it right off the front pages.

Funny how much I lusted after Sylvia Plath in some Platonic fantasy of her.
And Dorothy Stratten died for my sins my lust for her image so cold blooded.

[diesel dyke]

To the mothers of young daughters

This is a difficult thread for me. Part of my lightening up leave a beautiful corpse campaign. As I struggle to loose forty pounds and leave less meat behind I am taking a hard look at what is on my hard drive. I had a nude picture of Dorothy Startten the marytered playmate.

Fortunately photobucket decided it was offensive material.
I am breaking new ground I feel the glass shattering over my head.

It was a very creepy picture of her, I was photoshopping it and accidently cut her face off the picture so it was only a naked woman's torso from hips to throat

[diesel dyke]

Raymond Carver is buried at Ocean View Cemetery in Port Angeles, WA. The inscription on his tombstone reads:
LATE FRAGMENT
And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.
His poem Gravy is also inscribed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raymond_Carver

[diesel dyke]

Sometimes it's necessary to take the only thing we have. (intro)
by thunder chicken
2003 July 06

In a small examining room a nurse is kneeling on a stool with her elbows propped on the examining table while she reads my chart. She is fifty, wears oversized glasses, her hair hangs free to her waist, and she wears clothes that conceal the shape of her body.
She is in pain, her back hurts, I resist the urge to touch her, and say I am sorry
She looks up at me and says you don't care &. I know that is true,if she means love me.

vanity
by thunder chicken
2003 July 07

and my existential strip tease, got a road block, sexual content difficult for me to be honest, I am gathering the courage to be innocent again, more soon I hope
thank you for taking the time to reply

the date I did not keep
by thunder chicken
2003 July 07

here is a bit more.
Another nurse had just taken my blood pressure and was alarmed so she called the N.P. This very handsome woman walks in, puts the cuff on and holds my arm up against her body from her breasts to her crotch I feel the heat of her body. She decides to take my b.p. again this time with me seated on the exam table, at this point my left arm is complety out of my control I don't seem to have any voluntary control of it, sort of like an erection, she tells me to raise my arm I can not, finaly she takes it and puts it under her arm while the works, she tells me to just let my arm hang there so she can support it, but I can not let go, the arm is stiff, she says "very strange"
i am thinking about changing my user name to "almost a virgin"
p.s. the existential strip tease is my dance of truth, I dont think it was the Jews so much as a fear of commitment after 23 years of solitude, and of course there the terrifying thought of being im poe tent.
"A Jew without Jews, without Judaism, without Zionism, without Jewishness, without a temple or an army or even a pistol, a Jew clearly without a home, just the object itself, like a glass or an apple."

ok
by thunder chicken
2003 July 12

hysterical paralysis, I suppose that is what it is, I have I have not had the nerve to read jota's story about a misspent youth, afraid he may have wrote my life story.
I was working as a projectionist in a drive in theatre last summer, high school kids working in the concession stand, I had to cut through there sometimes, one of the would catch me in a narrow spot between a wall and the counter lean on me so hard with her breasts and i would scootch up against the counter to let her buy then it dawned on me she had plenty of room to get buy
i been reading Lolita but the old paper back edition has come unglued. I wish i had his subtlety
the week I spent in the telemarketing class was rough too, plenty of brushing up against there,
I feel pretty naked at this stage of my life with out a mate to protect me from all that.
sorry my spelling is starting to nauseate me, better go to tired to edit pulling out of texas tonight probably will not get to post much for the next month
going to miss ya

Thunder Chicken on litkicks
http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=19582

[zero_hero]

good bye brooklyn
by thunder chicken
2003 April 09

thank you for your efforts, I am going to learn to write one of these days, I owe litkicks so much, sincerly I can never thank you enough, I hope to put up a webpage to keep in touch with the people I love here. the check is not in the mail yet but pease dont give up on me,

TC-
by mtmynd
2003 April 09

those that leave litkicks
always manage to return-
i'll look out for you

make my day
by thunder chicken
2003 April 09

thank you old man

okay
by brooklyn
2003 April 10

Thunder Chicken made a good impression here ... I'm sorry you ran into some problems but you are welcome to return.

-- Levi

I will
by thunder chicken
2003 April 10

soon as I calm down and can play by the rules

thanks

[zero_hero]

http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=19582


zero hero on litkicks
I wonder what inanities I will find there.

standing on the edge
frozen in fright above the abyss
I step out onto nothingness


Yes I try to remember the G d within me
and forget about that other G d one roams the world without me
seeking who to devour.

I only think good thoughts read good books

No need to tempt G d.

"The terror which is nothingness"

I would not want to temp the nothingness

Boy oh boy how I dread another February, Ground Hogs day and Valentines too.
That was a sweet movie, boy this is a good time to be making movies.

Not to tempt the empty text-box, the open window in the sky, the metaphysical landscape of llllllllllllllllllll
of amerika.

[zero_hero]

Levi if you happen to stumble across this text box I just want to say thank you. Thank you for the good times at litkicks and thank you for keeping the archive up. Best wishes for you and litkicks to keep on keeping on.

thinking about things
by brooklyn
2003 April 25

I'm going to be heading out for the nite, and won't be able to answer any more questions that come up about the troll problems we had this week.

But I did want to say a few things, partly inspired by some private conversations I've had with LK'ers as well as the discussions here. I know that some people think the LitKicks board moderation policy is completely wrong-headed. Some say it's a violation of free speech for us to delete a post or a member. Others tell me they consider it an impossible or foolish task to try to manage an essentially unmanageable online community.

I hear all of this. But, we are not going to drop our moderation policy. We will evolve it, for sure, as we've always done. But the fact is, I'm incredibly proud of the way this site runs. Even this week, when we dealt with a ridiculously persistent and annoying troll and ended up with a mini-riot on various boards ... at the same time there were great discussions on all the boards, amazing poems and stories, provocative ideas, lots of laughs ... even at it's worst, I love this site and I think it works about as well as any site on the internet has ever worked. One reason for this is that there are a group of long-time LitKickers -- including not just myself, Firecracker and Jamelah but also others, who work behind the scenes to lend their positive influences to the site -- who care about the place and do what is necessary to keep the quality level high and the bullshit level, well, *relatively* low.

LitKicks would not be what it is without this constant behind the scenes work. This work sometimes involves deleting stuff that doesn't fit our vision of what the site is and should be. We never promised anybody a blank slate to write whatever they want -- that's a different vision for a website, and not the vision of LitKicks. What LitKicks promises is a warm, intelligent and safe environment where both newbies and regulars can share their thoughts, ideas and writings. That's what we want to be, that's what we are, and that's what we will remain.

I do wish there were fewer misunderstandings about our policies, though, and we're going to put up a FAQ soon that I hope will make things less confusing in the future.

Overall, I just want to thank the wonderful writers and poets and readers and nice people who make this place what it is. Even when we're a mess, I personally think we're great. That's my parting thought for the nite ... see you all later ...

-- Levi

http://www.litkicks.com/MessageArchive?msg=436495

[stilltrucking]

CINDERELLA ATE MY DAUGHTER

Dispatches From the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture

By Peggy Orenstein

imgae source Plath's Ennui

image source Pink

[still.trucking]

stilltrucking on litkicks.com

so many tombstones for stilltrucking's vanity
because he dies a thousand times a day

boy oh boy the things I do for this
it has taken over my life, it is my life, my real life off the road.
the road another love I have sacrificed to vanity

well if zero hero had his share of inanities
stilltrucking was no slacker either

http://www.litkicks.com/MessageArchive?msg=83070

What has it got to do with this?
probably not much
another random text box
in an infinite series
of bull shit

Picture this

[short timer]

"I know You're There"

My ego dies a thousand deaths everyday

One dayI will be as pure as Dorothy, the small and meek.

[the mingo]

Hey Jack, need some advice out of ya. I want to simplfy over on my log and lock out "Broken Wrist Graffiti". Get down to just the Cave and "In the meantime" I know I locked out "Mile Marker Zion" but it was so long ago I've forgotten how I did it. Thx. By the way, you get the distinction of having the last post on "Broken Wrist Graffiti".

[stilltrucking]

click on the edit button then under the text box you will see the picture below just click in the lock topic circle and then click submit.
_____________________________________________________

My poor little ego feels like Charliie Brown today

a good definition of ego death’/ego loss

...total annihilation on all imaginable levels - physical destruction, emotional disaster, intellectual and philosophical defeat, ultimate moral faulure, and absolute damnation of transcendental proportions. This experience of ego death seems to entail an instant merciless destruction of all previous reference points in the life of the individual.

quote:
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Kaniz said:
STRONG trips, where the sense of self/time/identiy/reality/body/etc simply cease to exist. There is a conciousness, but there is no "I" to it - simply being. Just pureness. Its hard to fully define, as I mostly remeber the point leading upto it, and the point directly after it - but the actual 'loss' itself is pretty much impossible to remeber except a sensation of being home, pureness and love.
.
I dont have a concept of self, or time, or body, or anything - just simply 'there'. There is no I to my thoughts, there is no body, and I am actually alarmed once the sense of identiy returns "Oh, I'm a me? wow - thats odd. Whered that come from? oh, whats this weird feeling I'm starting to form? oh, thats my body laying on my bed' as I start to re-form into reality.
.
But, I've never felt afraid, or scared, or terror, I can sense it comming, I accept that its comming, I relax and let go - and have always enjoyed the expierence.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



This is ego loss.

The difference is that with Ego loss you are so at peace that your ego falls asleep like a baby whereas with Ego death your Ego is chased through a field of broken glass by a gang of psychopath gremlins who will catch him and bludgeon it into a bloody pulp with claw hammers.

Ego Death is one single phase that can easily span twenty or thirty trips with uniquely horrible features. Once you had it to its fullest it will never return. Ever. Ego Loss can happen at any time in a trip.

I'm scared shitless of Ego Death, having been through several sequelae and knowing there will be many more.

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showfla ... er/5243429