check this out if you get a chance

[still.trucking]

no go commentary
a no go

common territory
Promontory Point

On the Confederate Railroad
at Big Sur

Ticking tocking typing
why suicide

thinking too much
I will never get Menstrual cramps

Jesus Died for nothing I suppose
Sylvia too

Sylvia's mother
said no

love in the nick of time
adoration for Maya mother of G d

"I am not cruel only honest
the eye of a little god"

hard not for me to ramble when I think about her.. thirty fucking years I carried her around with me in the form of a novel, I read the bell jar ten twelve fifteen times? No idea how many, obsessed with her death, haunted by thoughts of suicide, I finally stopped about six years ago when I realized I was never going to get Menstrual cramps, read of her fatal biology, her pms was straight from her father's hell/
freezing winter busted pipes, two babies to look after, deadline pressures, a harpy editor, betrayed by her husband, and then the excruitaing mentral headaches to top it off and
poetry can be a blood sport

brain storm
lost in her brain storm

I adored her the way some people adore Jesus or Buddha
the goddess with a thousand faces

I am just a common man
a common man's commentary

It is her life's work that learned me not her death.

http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=99&t=23643

[jackofnightmares]

You only see the world you make... Are you ready for it?

[still.trucking]

The confessions. It's all in my head. It's all in my head

.

All these lives I may have lived, all the lives I am living now
Not the lives I think about
it is the lies
Kerouac told the best lies.
but he was sincere about them


better men than me have seen an eternal return
why not
hammer hammer on the Jhana express

I will be seamless and dreamless
I will be whole
from pole to pole
from life to death
to life now

I hope the jackof nightmares user name does not spook you
just think of him as the little jackster
jackoff, crazy mike used to call me

One of the worst nightmare I ever had was over sixty years, I was prepubscent I am trying to remember how old I was, reason I am wonder is I had surgery around there some time an appendectomy back then ether was the anesthetic of choice, they pulled my underwear down before I was under, I fought so hard it took everyone there to hold me down. Well pardon the digression about surgery, in the dream I was taken down through a man hole to an underground hospital where little boys changed into little girls.

So the worst nightmare I have ever had was about being a girl. So maybe that is why the guy in the Talmud thanks the creator for making him not a woman.
I think about her on that freezing morning as she tucked towles under the door to the children's bedroom so the gas would not seep in. I

Her son a suicide too

FIRST VOICE:
Who is he, this blue, furious boy,
Shiny and strange, as if he had hurtled from a star?
He is looking so angrily!
He flew into the room, a shriek at his heel.
The blue color pales. He is human after all.
A red lotus opens in its bowl of blood;
They are stitching me up with silk, as if I were a material.

What did my fingers do before they held him?
What did my heart do, with its love?
I have never seen a thing so clear.
His lids are like the lilac-flower
And soft as a moth, his breath.
I shall not let go.
There is no guile or warp in him. May he keep so.

three women.


So I think about the Sylvia Plath effect and what drove her to it, bad chemicals they say, but who knows, Freud was pretty smart too, he said human behaviour is over determined. I believe it is probably true.

I want to write romance novels with you, the ones that will make the young girls cry. Or at least piss um off, maybe make them laugh.
in literary friendship
jt

[one of those jerks]

this is going to be tricky
http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/search.php? ... 0&sr=posts

[diesel dyke]

a silly chica once wrote on studio eight that old men are like lesbians.

maybe, are lesbians hopeless romantics too?

[gypsyjoker]

20, 2012 4:03 pm

I am sure it will be a best seller, all we got to do now is figure out how to share the profits. Might have to get everyone under contract, change a few names to protect the guilty and the innocent.

Thinking who was I when I logged in as gypsjoker my rich old uncle

[SadLuckDame]

Well, right now I feel for the innocent, I mean I think about how I like to write about people and most of the time they're gonna know it's them and then I'm Anais Nin suddenly.

What to say, what to say, are you like this, too?
Name changes, sex changes, writing a gig for Professor Plum and then I'm telling about my best girl friend. I don't know how it happens.

I will read you like you're already writing this while in the truck, on the roads and meeting girls.

[stilltrucking]

Anais Nin is good right now, I am doing the best I can with Henry

I just want to hold your hand, be your "software agent" a masculine "app" I will wear a lock of your hair as my adornment I will keep a close watch on this text of mine.

I like to write about the people I meet, and the way I think about them by what I read about them.

That search page of still.trucking is done, as it stands it is your thread. I dedicate it to you. If I am right I think you will enjoy it, if I am wrong I am sorry to have wasted your time

[SadLuckDame]

Do you mean if I click on still.trucking and search 'him', it will present a whole 'book' like for me, for me thing to be read?

[still.trucking]

This is going to be my last post for still.truck because his last twenty or so posts seem to be like the beads on a necklace that a friend once wove for me.
must have been a thousand beads in that thing, tiny little beads, and intricate pattern's on it hung a medallion that said "Holy spirit come enlighten me"




if you click on still.truck avatar it will take you to my profile and under the avatar thumb nail will be a link that says >Search Author's posts" then you will see the most recent posts I have seen, just the first page of them, this will be the top most on that page. I am going to leave it there. And the next thing you will see hopefully is some kind of hypermedia thingy that will relate them. I need to look at it one more time, the bugger is everytime I make another post with this user name one will drop off the bottom of the page.to page two .

That this a link to the first page
not sure if it works for you, not sure of cookies and things like that, but this link should take you to the navigation page should be a page full of still.trucking posts.

but you want see this one because it will have moved to page two because this post knocked it off the first page

ok here is the link to the search page, I like this guy still.trucking, I think he is a good guy, you helped me hear his voice, mingo helped me too.
so if I do write an ebook not sure if you all would be wanting to be part of it. I mean you all already wrote your part, I am just weaving yours into the pattern.

http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/search.php? ... 0&sr=posts
Here is the post I posted to you that is

Re: Paint Me Black

Black Jack painting it black It depresses me to think about those men So I think about how in the Bible the Hebrew Children killed off the goddess so I wrote this for you here , I found a little hidy hole off the beaten path where no body goes except me, hmm sounds like a long black veil she wore fo...

[SadLuckDame]

I think that you were surprised that I took to him right away, prolly you thought I'd pick up an accessible character instead, but stilltrucking caught me from the get go. A lot of heart in this one.

Jack, thank you, this just warms my whole being.

[MrGuilty]

Thank you dame
doing elvis impersonation
thank you very much

I am lucky to have you and mingo for cyber pals.

going to bed now.

[zero_hero]

I am going to move this to the top bar of the hypermedia e-book. it turns the page.

Takes me back ten years to litkicks,
a summer of love

you know a simple twist of fate
they could have met somewhere in the city that summer maybe, too lazy to google where Jack was that summer that queer summer day they executed the rosenbergs.

so tangled up in blue
come in she said
shelter from the storm

now for some reason I got to cover by tracks reply back to my own post

as if I knew what I was doing as I make it up inside my head with thoughts of silent woman and molly blum

I got this other gig that I do, it scares the bejeezus out of me, makes me nervous as hell, but it helps make the bills, it is so slow right now, and I so much would rather more doing this than that. So I keep studing to become more profiecient customer care person I can be,
I been more interested in the care and feeding of poets lately,

ramble on I been talking about doing the html or what ever we call it you hyperstacking a document, Tales of the Brave Uterus boy where did that come from I guess I was thinking of Ulysess but could not spell it, a little freudian slip, don't give up the ship women and children first

I don;t know if I need all those flashing thingies, i find them distraction when I am trying to read, bottom line this is a text document first. I am blind that way

[still.trucking]

http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=4039



I let that one slip by.

[SadLuckDame]

Making a ship between us and then we both hop on for the ride, the ride we're on.
Been a long time and I still want to be here, listen to your voice.
I read the first 25 pages then I went back to the very first post and read from it up to page 76, I think, which means I have a little more in the middle to spend time with.

You and I with these words between us, these worlds between us.
Listening to your voice, turning my head towards it when I hear you.