critical

[creativesoul]

i know that my mind wakes up before me with various ideas- that the cold - even in summer- outside the blankets is abhorring to me- i never liked cold- i was a lil girl in the desert- my mama slept late- i wandered into the peyote patch- found myself on the rez- palm springs 1958?
the healers told me all my life that i had been 'opened' before the gift was ready.
i thought maybe all that electricity in my hair coming thru my skin was just my imagination-
that really wasnt much of a shock- i felt like i was my mother s mother anyway-
i know i tried to run away once in hollywood with pajama feet= some lady with red hair brought me back- mother was intrigued with how i got out-
they never understood
you had to fix the fence if you dont want the dog not to run away.
some fences just cannot be fixed-
you know- the sun is out-
my lil huffy wal mart bike awaits me in the driveway- i feel like a child - trying to make it work... busying myself with lil stories and paintings-
i wish i knew how that felt right now- being plugged in to a whole bunch of people that are amusing------ by- that every day you shrug or smirk or nervously laugh and the very stupid non educated discussions about things that really = are way out of the control of anyone talking about that it is like joke to me- sometimes-
.money has all of nervous about things like FOOD WATER AND AIR and the only solution i can come up with is to just KEEP GOING- because the alternative is knarly- i have known many people that have 'given up' they might not have killed themselves- with a gun - or drugs- but they just a stopped caring and loving themselves SOMEHOW- ALL HOPE LEFT THE HARSHNESS OF THIS WORLD = but this leads to heart attacks and assisted living and really digusting ends-------------------------------------------
so - if we dont love ourselves who will- ?
so now i look really great- new teeth= great body and im dying- it is just like a kind of joke-
but here is what i HAVE GOTTA SAY ABOUT THAT- it is a promotion.
when you get out of here- you get to see the people you miss- like my grandmas---and my uncle and my cousin- and grandpas- and when i leave this body hopefully as an enlightened being- [doubtful]
i will get to kick at least two peoples ass and not go to jail.
i will drink some wine- after 25 years i want a bottle of gavi di gavi scholera- it is the shit that made me crazy enough to have children and fly around the world- with a man i met in new york- it is all sort of random-and i loved him= but i could not live in nigeria- with malaria and cholera as house guests but where else was i going to find a stud muffin ? anyway- i had needs. women are not supposed to have those. i guess-
the whole nigeria thing is another story- but let me say- that the younger population dressed like michael jackson and then the traditional muslim gear- sipping chap mans on the beaches of Lagos, and gambling so much nira - from all that black goo in the earth they call oil-an entire war errupted which created one of the of the most unnatural sadness around the world- when biafra was born and then die.......like so many starving people=
women can not drive----````-------=in the here and now-my friend is on the phone describing stuffed raccoons... and his mind- is fragile- the ones with the big gifts and juice seem to have a harder time of it - in the here and now- te world is filled with distraction and need, and the desire for comfort when you can see and talk to piirts- thats what the intercessors and medicine people and priests have to deal with- and i guess they --- just have so much more magnetic kinetic energy- it errpts like a volcano- hot and catalytic....forming a new world wherever it goes.... strange things in the windows- i thought he was getting married? like... i cannot get married again- k? i already said that the ring alone has to pay for assisted
living forever- because - all of rust and rot- and if i could just slip out of conscieness without notice or alarm- ah yes- such control issues- thinking..., ha ha ha that i have control over my death-or even my life- lol- this is critical- so comparitive- the lines on my face- the mass of my muscle and body-circulation- stimulating the 12 strand DNA=== TRANSFORMATION- not death- that- my frenz is what is in store- i see pictures in my mind of 'helping' and what that looks like for me- maybe it is all an illusion- indian man calls on the phone -talking about spiritual things? not really- but if i pray maybe some things will heal- because really- this is critical- we need each other to behave well-

[theirishsea]

a lil girl in the dessert----or "desert"? Dessert could work in a creative way but the context seems to point to "desert" as being the right word.

[creativesoul]

you know- you are right- and i could really use an editor for my book- are you busy? everybody else is.....hoping that you have some time,,,
I HAVE ALWAYS had a spelling issue- since italy and africa 1984= thought i could write in italian- ha ha ha well it messed up the stuff- and well- now they have apps= lol-
,THANX- FRENZ- ENUF SAID

[theirishsea]

Desert and dessert are often mistaken but also spell check wouldn't catch it. I have done a number of typos over the years.

Creative writing is fun, rewarding, a challenge. Proofreading is like climbing under the sink and tightening nuts and bolts.

Best to you.

By the way your writing is interesting to read----and that is one of a writer's chief goals---interest readers in his/her work.

[creativesoul]

Thank you!

[WIREMAN]

write on my friend....come jam with us tonight!

[creativesoul]

but will we behave well? maybe- i wish i could say that i have all this time been a good girl- but i guess not

[creativesoul]

But it wasn't - now she could follow
See who they are
But it doesn't matter
The sun is out