West side Alano club
Posted: November 17th, 2014, 7:48 pm
It's about 230-the dog and I roll up to the club- " recovery in the house" meeting- NA-
I bring the dog with me with the crew
He brings out the best in people- people that need love- after a harrowing experience with whatever substance has them down for keeps!
It is hard to hear sometimes -
I think back- to the early days- and how the AA girls used to dress slutty and pick up on addict guys. I would see these hot handsome looking guys- driving the brand new beautiful cars in Armani suits- it was just too much for me- I wanted what they had all right- and I got some of it- but I would imagine a life with a man like that- what it would be like- to be I love like that- to feel his hot burning body in the tropical breezes- to have all that style wrapped around my life. I wanted something you cannot get from anyone else-
It is rather sad- all that pain sort of went away- I was brought back a few times- to see - that who I thought I was and who I really am does not match- and to achieve who I wanted to be- but I had to reexamine all of it- all the broken stuff- how I was when my children were in the first years of their lives is not who I am today.
But now when I see that look in young women's eyes- I know what it means- how it feels- to be that lost and confused.....
I have a heart fu ll of experience strength and hope- and sometimes tears of gratitude fall down the front of my shirt and face- I am so happy when the sunlight comes streaming thru the windows... I feel love for myself and other people- Narcotics anymous is a place to go when - the shit hits the fan- it's a lovely way to renovate the soul- the key is to allow it to work- and get to know other people - learn about other people and see yourself- if you can- polish the broken shards- out yourself back together- in a way that helps you to see your assets----
It was here that I became someone that didn't have to rely on anyone but Creator----
And the people I have met have told me their stories-
And I feel trusted and loved- it works- even when I didn't want it too......
I bring the dog with me with the crew
He brings out the best in people- people that need love- after a harrowing experience with whatever substance has them down for keeps!
It is hard to hear sometimes -
I think back- to the early days- and how the AA girls used to dress slutty and pick up on addict guys. I would see these hot handsome looking guys- driving the brand new beautiful cars in Armani suits- it was just too much for me- I wanted what they had all right- and I got some of it- but I would imagine a life with a man like that- what it would be like- to be I love like that- to feel his hot burning body in the tropical breezes- to have all that style wrapped around my life. I wanted something you cannot get from anyone else-
It is rather sad- all that pain sort of went away- I was brought back a few times- to see - that who I thought I was and who I really am does not match- and to achieve who I wanted to be- but I had to reexamine all of it- all the broken stuff- how I was when my children were in the first years of their lives is not who I am today.
But now when I see that look in young women's eyes- I know what it means- how it feels- to be that lost and confused.....
I have a heart fu ll of experience strength and hope- and sometimes tears of gratitude fall down the front of my shirt and face- I am so happy when the sunlight comes streaming thru the windows... I feel love for myself and other people- Narcotics anymous is a place to go when - the shit hits the fan- it's a lovely way to renovate the soul- the key is to allow it to work- and get to know other people - learn about other people and see yourself- if you can- polish the broken shards- out yourself back together- in a way that helps you to see your assets----
It was here that I became someone that didn't have to rely on anyone but Creator----
And the people I have met have told me their stories-
And I feel trusted and loved- it works- even when I didn't want it too......