I am a schmuck I drive a truck

[tinkerjack]

Letting go is hard to do.

I was hammer down on I-45. A good week going with four thousand miles in four days. When I was on the road I did not smoke, no weed whites and wine for me. Number two diesel was my ultimate drug. So anyway I was headed up to Sherman with my load of weenies and chewing on some artificail crab meat. At that time I had a few more teeth than I do now. But one of them was hanging pretty loose. I bit down and caught that loose tooth sideways and it tore loose. It hand been dangling by one nerve, when that nerve tore there was a shot of pain that made suck in my breath. Also sucking a piece of the crab meat down my throat. After about a minute I realized that I could not breath. I started to panic and then the thought crossed my mind that if I was going to choke to death the least I could do for those four wheelers surrrounding me was get that big bitch on the side. After I got parked on the shoulder I put my fists on the steering wheel and threw myself down on them in a Heimlich. The crab meat shot out and hit the windshield. Later when I got to Atoka Oklahoma I was arrested for public intoxiacation because a waitress did not like my looks. But that is another story.

Why is a truck stop waitress like a toilet
Because they both stand around and wait on assholes.

[jimboloco]

they was two guys that went fishing. They caught a lot of fish. One guy said, "we oughtta mark the spot." They rowed back to land then the other guy said, "well didya remember to mark the spot?" other guy said, "Yup!" "Well how did you do that?"
other guy said, "Easy, I marked the boat."
first guy said, "duh, what if we get a different boat next time?"

OH man, once I got bit by a bedside commode. It thought I was an asshole. Slapped me on the bridge of my nose.

It was the tooth fairy.

You gave yourself a heimlick maneuver!
mercy me.

[mousey1]

You guys.... ....hoot hoot hoot....guffaw guffaw guffaw!!!!

Sorry tinky...I know it was kinda an awful thing to have happen and all but I couldn't help laughing. You wrote this real good and got my funny bone tickled.

This is damned hilarious the way you wrote it.

Don't be mad but HO HO HO HO HO!!!!!!!

and then Jimbo says:

You gave yourself a heimlick maneuver!
mercy me.

I'm dying here man....I'm laid out on the floor rolling around in my own pee....hee hee hee!!!!!!!!

Was I supposed to take this seriously? 'Cause if so...my deepest.... hee hee.... apologies.

[stilltrucking]

Funny is good. I remember Billellectric writing a bit about the time he went to a mental health clinic because he was so depressed. There was a guy in a clown suit who was supposed to cheer people up. I can't remember all the details but I thought it was

Unfortunately it was not meant to be funny. I was the only one to laugh. I felt like that guy in the Charlie Adams cartoon, the one in the audience watching a movie. Everyone sitting around him was crying and he was laughing.

You know it makes my day to hear you laugh.

Jimbo I suppose you heard the one about the two truck drivers standing on a bridge taking a leak. One says, “Man that water down there is cold.” And the other one says, “Yeah and its deep too.”

If you are ever going through Atoka Oklahoma, be sure to wear a happy face. The police dispatcher there told me that it is a misdemeanor to stop there and a felony to spend the night.

[diesel dyke]

Sorry Mousey1 that was not a mixed company kind of joke.

[jimboloco]

what do you expect from mixed up jokers?

[stilltrucking]

cb handles, gypsy joker a good one, then there was crispy critter the viet vet. Burned bad, a lot of scars. (he always wore long sleve shirts.) He was probably the most extreme of the vets I trucked with. His wife dying at home but he could not leave the road. Always stressed and exhaused because it kept his mind off of things. A little Zen could have gone a long way, but I had not met you or cecil or the buddhabitch yet. The endless road sisypuss rolling that truck. A zero hero with a load of weenies that had to get to Ohamha in a hurry. Any excuse to keep on rolling, to be in that momment between going and coming from some place else. To do a job with all your might, what more could anyone ask.

What ever is given to thy hand to do. Your art your writing and your work, where do you draw the line between work and play. I wish I had a ku in me this morning.

[jimboloco]

i drove on my last hiatus before crashing down easy into old st pete, would drive on and on, stop, flip a coin, strill could not make up my mind, what where or when to stop or go so i kept going on and on just wanting the earth's surface to unfold.

now won't drive anywhere anymore, just the ride to work.

man! a load of weenies from omaha going to omaha!!!