why suicide?

[stilltrucking]

Pulled my way back unbelted myself

Not the way it happened, I did not pull my way back, I leaned backward, in my panic it is almost as if someone gently pushed me back, slackening the belt.

But this one is fresher in my mind, the time I succeeded in killing myself.

Heberxud
Horror scope
spam post

constantly reading, ten, 15, 20, I have no idea how many books I am reading at any one time.

a short story about a Chinese peasant widow, how her fortunes changed

she had seen this before how the deranged old one returns to clear vision just before they die.

I have been here before, December coughs into February gasping for breath, then the picture emerges from the darkness, and here I am again picking cigarette butts out of the ashtray again. With a death rattle tickling my throat
http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=8883

[stilltrucking]

No lies again
not a physical sensation
not a push
but a presence.

thinking with my brain stem. An nanosecond of calm reality and then appropriate responce to life and death situation.

I barely remember it any more

mary had a little lamb...

Hal 2000 got nothing on me.

So many suicides in my book case. I have no idea why they killed themselves. Nothing I have ever learned about them helps me understand why. Lew Welch, Phil Ochs, Plath, O'Toole, quite a circle of dead friends. Oh well. Gary Snyder still kicking, Ferlinghetti too I hope.

They say my best friends father killed him self cause he was going blind. He did not think he could take care of his family, how do I know that?
Did he leave a note? They sah he wanted his wife and children to have the insurance money.

Altruistic Suicide

Dr Kervorkian is out of prison Newspaper ran a
Weird picture of him posing with his suicide machine
Smiling.