scream

[stilltrucking]

Someone asked me the other day if I am a racist
Oh yes
I am a stranger.
No one can go home again
We have all left our roots behind, except for a fortunate few.
How I envy those folks in the hollows of West Virginia who have never been more than 30 miles from their birth place.

This world before world war two that I was born into, so far gone. I am an exile

Christmas time how I seek that magic I knew somehow as a child even if it was unofficial and had nothing to do with Christ. It was all about happy children.

I watch his mother wait all day for him to call. So much guilt, so much love. I think about all the times I broke my mother's heart and the two times she broke mine.

Mark Vonnegut son of kurt wrote a book about his breakdown called Eden Express. I got it for a birthday gift when I was in my thirties. I don't think I ever read a more useful helpful explanation of what it is to go mad. It started around this time of year...



I never understood the mind of a woman hater until I read Plath's novel.

Forty years, forty three years gone by since that november day I almost commited suicide by matricide.

random bits maybe they tie together, just streaming.

read it later see how big the spaces between the dots are.

seasons greetings
only three more days to solstice
how many shopping days does that leave us ?

[abstroint]

I'll check out Eden Express (sounds like it could be a life line) as soon as I finish Crash.
If Christmas means anything to you, you must shop until the last minute. On your way to your last Christmas gathering you have to stop at a gas station for scratch off tickets! 7 days
I will take my time with spaces and dots...B6, A, Omega 3's, ect. first.
Happy Holiday Season

[stilltrucking]

A walking marriage
The Women's Kingdom
Seems like such a healthy happy society to me.

The Mosuo are best known for their tradition of zouhun, or walking marriage, in which youths who have gone through a coming of age ceremony at the age of 13 are permitted to choose their own axia, or relationship. This nontraditional union means that men visit their lovers only by "walking" to them at night and leaving in the morning. If a child is born from the union, it is taken care of by the mother's brothers.

http://www.pbs.org/frontlineworld/rough ... links.html

The joke is on us
Beyond all our pretensions
the worm at the core of consciousness.
death.

Chapter Two
The Terror of Death.
...The result was the emergence of a man as we know him: a hyperanxious animal who constantly invents reasons for anxiety even where he has none. --The Denial Of Death.

Security:
Funny how I hardly worry about money anymore. Except for my final expenses. I may buy myself a pre paid funeral next year. I don't know why that is so important to me now. But it is a comfort for me to think that no one will have to do those last things for me.


They say men and women reach the same conclusions, for different reasons. So much cultural relativity. I wish I could remember the tribe, Africa or south america. When a woman is pregnant no body wants to know her. She is an out cast tolerated but ignored. When it is her time she goes off on her own and has her baby.

I wish you the best of holiday seasons

[~K]

that's it
what I'm about
circles
round & round
my vision blurred
my senses fail
& I am drifting
on forgotten winds
I beg the pieces
back from the puzzle
what's done
can be undone
can be worth surviving