Erosion

[gandsharp]

Grandpa

I remember your thin grizzled exterior.
Bone and sinew somehow
connected to heart strings.
Black peat and clay clinging
to your exposed skin
as you drilled through granite and shale.
Penetrating the earth, mad lover, drawing from her veins,
as though you knew the source of her life giving secrets.

I remember your impatience.
Your incomprehensible anger at the equipment.
The maiming and loss of fingers,
Until deprivation, was the one thing, you could count on.
Being struck by lightning twice, wasn't good enough.
You couldn't resist going toe to toe with death.

Was there shame in the twilight?
Did you hear the call?
Can you identify the distance?
Do you hear me shout your name?

[judih]

pulled from the shale of the gut
i can feel therapy from this poem

[.Lucy.]

Recalls a thought...this poem is interesting

[gandsharp]

Thank you Judih and Lucy for your kind comments

[hester_prynne]

Really enjoyed reading this one
H

[Sue Littleton]

A splendid, human, moving poem. Sue♥

[saw]

you paint a magnificent picture of a grandfather, this reader really gets his connection to the earth...solid throughout...including the title....enjoyed it

[mindbum]

i've been thinking abt this for a day or so... feel like i'd like to see the final stanza disappear. or morph or something. but the first two are primo.

[joel]

I knda agree with mindbum, except I really like the idea in "can you identify the distance?"

I might play with it; hope that's ok with you.

[gandsharp]

Thank you so much Sue, Hester and Saw for taking the time to read and your sweet comments.

Yes I agree with your critique Mindbum, I never know quite how to end a poem and the last stanza doesn't seem to fit. I am not really familiar with the structure of a poem, basically the only thing I know about poetry is that I am compelled to write it.

Thanx Joel.....feel free to add or subtract whatever you want, I would love to see it........I'm here to learn.

This place probably could leak more information than a drug testing facility

[diesel dyke]

Sorry
I got to use the L word
I Love this poem
I know nothing about poetry except I am compelled to read it.
I thought it was perfect as it is.
But don't mind me
as I said I know nothing about poetry.

[gandsharp]

Thanx Diesel I know what you mean and I only know what I like.

[joel]

Hey, gandsharp, I have to apologize for the wording I used before...I didn't mean to sound like I would play with your poem or wording. I really like what you wrote...and I'm not a critic or teacher. I had just meant that I loved the idea (and your vocabulary) in "identifying the distance" and that I might have had to dwell on and play with that idea. Sorry if I sounded critical...hubris isn't my goal, just my pitfall.

[justwalt]

i think the last verse is justfine...

assuming that this piece is about your grandpa, who passed. (?)
the verse being your questioning of why, (tempting death)...

if it is so, i t is natural to ask why... even fit about it.

it's the love that does that,
and the learning from it.

beautiful work,
keep it

walt

[gandsharp]

Thanx Joel but no apology needed you did not sound critical in the least.

Thanx Wait my grandfather has passed. He actually was struck by lightning 2x once while on a windmill and once while working on his well-drilling rig. He only had 2 whole fingers on both hands b/c of foolishness and or carelessness, whatever you want to call it. He was stubborn and tough as nails.

Sue