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Post your poetry, any style.
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YABYUM
Posts: 671
Joined: August 30th, 2004, 7:35 pm
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Post by YABYUM »

once one stood fast feeling hell.
twice twins fouled away.

get west ghosts shout stealing third.
none wanted home.

train.
bus.

train?
bus?
http://frombeerstobabies.blogspot.com/
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e_dog
Posts: 2764
Joined: September 3rd, 2004, 2:02 pm
Location: Knowhere, Pun-jab

Post by e_dog »

try "ghouls" 'stead of "ghosts" to add some more alliteration(?).
altho i guess "ghosts" works better for consonation.
I don't think 'Therefore, I am.' Therefore, I am.
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iblieve
Posts: 484
Joined: May 27th, 2005, 6:34 pm
Location: Pacific Northwest
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Post by iblieve »

works for me brother and I think your muse speaks well with great craft with his word play iblieve
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iblieve
DARC Poet's Society.
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