Leave the letter that never begins to go find the latter that ever comes to end, written in smoke and blurred by mist and signed of solitude, sealed of night.
-James Joyce
At the risk of incurring your hatred I must truthfully say I saw little to no merit in this, designed for shock only, piece. It's easy to write such stuff but were you forced to live in the situations and conditions that all those you profess hatred for have stood against, you would change your tune quickly. Very quickly. Hatred is inane, destructive and self-consuming. Hate is the worst of all four letter words.
Peace,
lenny
None of us ever gets anything we don't either need or deserve. Dry those liquid emotions and move on.
.... a projection of inner workings of the mind of a religious bigot, hell-bent on self-righteous and active destruction of creation, despite professing belief in the religion of the "Prince of Peace. Hatred? I don't know.... (Perhaps your point is that "two wrongs don't make a right"). To me, it's more like.... well.... sarcasm, I guess. Yeah. Guilty. And hate it if you will.
You're a good man (woman?), mnaz. And I'm so glad you realize I meant no harm. My nature is just blunt honesty and I expect the same from others with all my work. I see too much patting on the back in various forums (everywhere) and that never helps anyone improve. This world sucks. I like poetry that elevates, stimulates, uplifts, elicits true reflection, is distilled in nature and written to get something across, whether it be thought, emotion, feeling - even fastasy escape. Poems written just to sound poetic turn me off the most. (Not meaning yours here. Just in general.) Many poets try to sound too poetic and lose the value of the substance of the piece in so doing. Redundancy and overuse of pronouns - especially personal pronouns - will stop me from reading a piece. I, me, my - is a clue to where the poem is going to take you and usually it's not very far. As I am a nobody myself please take my words with a pinch of salt if you like. Keep writing though because I believe you have a lot of potential. Be well.
lenny
None of us ever gets anything we don't either need or deserve. Dry those liquid emotions and move on.
I'll say it again
I love this piece.
I was touched by it
I could virtually feel the frustration, taste it, touch it.
I felt no venom, no real hatred, only frustration with a tinge of humour for added flavour.
and if we can't write about it
the good, the bad, the ugly of it
allow others to feel it with us
then what are we supposed to do with it
those raw sometimes harsh emotions that occasionally force themselves to the surface
brush them away?
hide them away?
or
put it on the page
to be read
shared
to know there are others out there who are just as overwhelmed as we are
over
whelmed
at least here in written form it does some good
I want to
need to
feel other people feel
this poem was real
exuded feeling
and the ending was the perfect icing
I used to walk with my head in the clouds but I kept getting struck by lightning!
Now my head twitches and I drool alot. Anonymouse
