jane from okie flats

Post by **constantine** » April 25th, 2008, 1:44 pm

jane left skid trails in the okie flats
across fossil remains of dust devils
and cigarette ash, marlboro lights
from the old man's will
her thumb was the master plan
the gateway to tomorrow
she sucked feverishly

Post by **hester_prynne** » April 25th, 2008, 4:00 pm

Wham!
A jolt of satisfaction.
Followed by gusto ho ho ho's.
Nice job, I mean for me, this was extremely excellent.....

H

Post by **westcoast** » April 25th, 2008, 11:09 pm

i see a movie script when i read this one

~westie

Post by **constantine** » April 26th, 2008, 12:18 am

i met a girl in treatment who inspired this poem. it touched me hearing her story. it was iconic in a sense - a distillation of american girl across the tracks.

Post by **westcoast** » April 26th, 2008, 1:18 am

you totally caught it in the poem. good stuff!

~westie

Post by **stilltrucking** » April 26th, 2008, 1:19 am

so much said
in so few words
excellent