This Is What I Call My Baby

Post by **Lightning Rod** » May 22nd, 2008, 1:10 pm

I call my baby Bengladesh
so I don't have to refer to her as Darfur
a man could starve to death
on her good cooking

she can do accupunture with stiletto heels
and my mind reels at her logic
I call my baby the Sea of Tranquility
because she is on the moon

I call her Tumor for short
because she is inoperable
sometimes I call her Natural Disaster
because she is so improbable

I call my baby Hurricane
category five in her brain
I call my baby Stolichnaya
an ethanol supertrain

I call my baby the Nobel Prize
she cut her teeth on dynamite
I call my baby Alcatraz
she is impossible to escape

Post by **gypsyjoker** » May 22nd, 2008, 1:16 pm

"bows"

Post by **bennie2** » May 22nd, 2008, 1:41 pm

i call my baby houdini
cause the women, she escapes me
i call my baby camoflage
cause i've never even seen her

funny piece LR. makes you think about the silly things people say about loved ones. I have a Tim Buckley live recording from the Troubadour. He says in the record, "I love you so much honey I could shit!"

that's amoré

Post by **judih** » May 22nd, 2008, 1:53 pm

oh, bring on the metaphors. Excellent.
this is so good i could give up thinking.

Post by **WIREMAN** » May 22nd, 2008, 6:39 pm

"to the moon"
big jet plane
writing thru
riding through
thoughts thrown
makes for poe-try
my babies playin'
knick-knack-paddy-whack

Post by **Lightning Rod** » May 22nd, 2008, 9:21 pm

thanks for reading, you guys
glad you got a kick
it was a kick to write

Post by **westcoast** » May 22nd, 2008, 10:23 pm

yeah, i wanted to comment from work but they don't allow us to post from the desktop

love it!

~westie

Post by **Doreen Peri** » May 22nd, 2008, 10:33 pm

clever..... as usual.... very nice, lrod

Post by **Lightning Rod** » May 22nd, 2008, 11:47 pm

doreen peri wrote:clever..... as usual.... very nice, lrod

thank you, doreen
I call this form the Lrodian Quatranelle
you'll notice that each verse has approximately four lines
and the internal rhyme pattern is A B1/2 A# and add an anapest

Post by **Doreen Peri** » May 22nd, 2008, 11:48 pm

Post by **the mingo** » May 23rd, 2008, 9:32 am

...Shiny, Lightning...i come here for my meat & my wine & you folks always make it so...LARGE THX!

Post by **saw** » May 23rd, 2008, 5:52 pm

superb....it would be tough to pick a favorite stanza, but if I were forced to I'd go with #2....she can do accupuncture with her high heels
and my mind reels at her logic
I call my baby the Sea of Tranquility
because she is on the moon

good stuff....loved it

Post by **Lightning Rod** » May 23rd, 2008, 6:13 pm

thanks for looking, mingo

saw, interesting that you should pick that verse
I have edited it

changing the first line of the second verse to:
she can do accupunture with stiletto heels

the rhythm is a little better
and it's a sharper image
(pun intended)

Post by **saw** » May 23rd, 2008, 6:37 pm

yes...stiletto is a nice addition...

Post by **hester_prynne** » May 23rd, 2008, 7:23 pm

Okay so this could be a fabulous song......
I mean this is great stuff....
Bravo!
H

Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

This Is What I Call My Baby

This Is What I Call My Baby

Lightning-