some days i try too hard
& i disappear into my fear
bursting like a bubble
with nowhere to go but in
and sometimes 'in' refuses
to come out
because my pen won't write
what i want it to
and i don't even use big words
so some people will never read
these words
because they aren't twisted enough
but i don't always want to play games
so i run to you
and now i'm crying on your e-mail
about things i've never said before
about what if's and
i miss you so much
& what is this pen writing?
because i'm pretty sure i never said this
mj, 2008
