Wham Bam, Thank-you Spam

[Lightning Rod]

when I opened my email box this morning
of course I knew it was spam
the title said, "I honestly want to fuck you"

I usually delete this kind of trash unopened
but something about the title caught my eye
it's not that my hopes were up but questions arose

So, I took the opportunity to respond, it's free

first I asked, "Do I know you? And you honestly want to fuck me, why?
Have you heard stories of my prowess, or just seen pictures of my.....?"

the second question was, "Do you mean an 'honest fuck' or that you really really
want to fuck me, or do you mean something like, 'frankly' or 'earnestly' ?

When someone prefaces a statement with
'frankly' or 'truthfully' or 'honestly'
you know you are about to hear a lie

Last question: Are you going to ask me for my credit card number?

[Doreen Peri]

Believe me, I'm sure you usually delete that type of trash unopened.

[Lightning Rod]

Believe me, I'm sure you usually delete that type of trash unopened.

Sincerely, I do.

[Doreen Peri]

Honestly, I believe you!

[Lightning Rod]

Really, I believe that you believe me.

[Doreen Peri]

Trust me. I know you do!

[Lightning Rod]

no kidding doreen, you know my heart belongs to you

[Lightning Rod]

haha doreen,

this thread reads like a single poem

oops, I should have said IMHO it read like a single poem

(every time I see someone write 'IMHO' I know that I'm about to hear and opinion that is anything but humble)

[Doreen Peri]

Yes! I know exactly what you mean!
Would I lie to you?

[Lightning Rod]

here's the bottom line, doreen
I'm telling it like it is
it's no lie
money back guarantee
all natural, pure organic
take it to the bank
I wouldn't shit you
and if you really consider the matter
you'll come to the conclusion that I want

[sweetwater]

it reads differently
as it is read again

as if to suggest
the time of its happening

responses obfuscated
by the cryptic
freedom
to express

and then release

[SmileGRL]

sometimes you crack me up, mr LRod

[Lightning Rod]

thanks, SG

if I give you a smile I've done my job

(it also helps to have a good foil, thanks doreen)

[Doreen Peri]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foil_%28literature%29

If I understand this correctly, in literature, a foil indicates a contrasting character.

But, I was saying the same thing as you over and over using different words. No contrast at all.

That was the funny part.

In comedy, a foil is a straight man.

But I wasn't doing straight lines.

I was writing comedic lines as you were.



I don't think you're using the correct term. But it was fun anyway.

Believe me. It really was.