OK. Last night I posted a couple of replies which I came back and deleted because I was upset when I posted them and I thought it better to reply later (now) when I am no longer upset.
Why was I upset? Because, Lightning Rod, your so-called "clever" word usage can be mean and insulting and I don't take too kindly to insults.
What I initially said was this.
I sang a couple of songs in the last band.
It was like a 2-person football team.
I played second string. Spent a lotta time
on the bench. I'll have to sit this one out.
I'll make dip. It's what I do best.
You replied saying this.
Doreen,
Don't be so insecure. You can play with me anytime. (ok, that's a joke, but it's also true. I've rarely met a performer whose feet were more secure on a stage than yours are. You may not always know your lines or hit the notes, but you convince by your presence and assurance.)
How does my telling the truth about our relationship musically translate into you calling me insecure? That's ridiculous! It is an insult and I don't accept it. I am NOT insecure.
I was saying in my post that you were a one-man-band. You didn't want my singing voice and you didn't want my spoken voice. You didn't want my piano playing. Well, occasionally you wanted my participation but not very often. It hurt me and so I gave up. I gave up trying to continue to be your creative partner. It wasn't worth the pain of continued rejection.
This isn't insecurity. This is being SECURE with myself because I am WORTH MORE than that. I deserve to be treated better. I deserve to have my talents respected and desired.
Right after you call me insecure, you say, "You can play with me anytime" then say "that's a joke." Real funny. It's a joke alright. Not very nice, my dear.
Then after that, you compliment me by telling the world that I am a performer whose feet are "secure" on stage. Thank you. Yes, I am. Very clever verbiage. I am "insecure", then I am "secure." That makes a whole lot of sense. It is a blatant example of how you use the language to insult people (in this case, me) while attempting to mask the insult.
Then on the other side of that compliment, you insult me again by stating your opinion to the world ... "You may not always know your lines or hit your notes" then you add another compliment by saying that my "presence and assurance" convinces (implying that it convinces despite my inability to hit the notes or know my lines).
Great. Nail me to the wall with insults masked with half-compliments that can't stand on their own without the insults.
And btw, what you have stated is simply not true. I always know my lines and hit the notes. Why do you feel you have to insult me like that?
What is it about you? For five years you deliberately tried to make me feel LESS than who I am by belittling me in this manner. A compliment. An insult. A compliment. An insult. All of the compliments are based on BUTs which point to the insults.
Do you truly need to put me down in order to elevate yourself in some way?
Please don't do it again. This is one of the major reasons we are not together any more.
I know what you'll do. You'll tag this thread again with comments about how you think I am unable to handle critique from a colleague or unable to understand your competent writing style. You'll tell me that the insults I perceive are all in my head.
You'll pull a "gaslight" on me, attempting to make me think it's ME who has a problem, not you who are dishing out insults, but ME who is unable to accept critique and compliments.
I have news for you. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with me. Or my perception.
doreen, I don't know which of us is more incompetent
I'm bad at giving compliments and you are bad at taking them.
See? You've already done just that.
I'll answer your post. It is you who are incompetent at giving compliments. You apparently can't do it without flanking the compliments with insults.
I'm very good at taking compliments. I am not at all incompetent at it. Try it some time without the insults.
