Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

well it's hard to get disillusioned driving a truck for a living
besides you were able to hold a steady jhaweb

i have some holy hairy weed packed away
one more today
then i swaer i M TAKING A BREAK

garsh i'lll have ta ring up astoria
an aks her ta paleaze halp me
as some thangz ya don't know ya don't know
ya know

this weed ain't bitter
it tastes like natural toasted marshmellow
ya are what ya eat

i yam a toasted marshmellow

well if i could do this once in a blue moon it would be grate
that's my gaol
hope i stay outa gaol
an realise some goals, man

we was wired ta be survivors
we was wired ta wanna live longer
we was wired ta be slow bloomers
we was wired ta wanna share blooming satoris

gonna see a shrink on july 31st
don know if i will tell her about the weed, pal
i wanna double my dose

so far the effexor has given me the confidence to smoke weed without being paranoid!

stilltrucking wrote:Kerouac said that the sweetest thing in the world is the child's belief that his father knows everything.

For years I believed Crazy Mike when he said "Man proposes and G-d disposes"

Now I believe that my father was wrong.

G-d proposes and it is man that disposes.

Just a thought

don't mean nothing

I hardly interact with children at all. I live in such a sterile adult world at the senior housing complex.

well your pops was at least literate
it reminds me of robert bly, the poet
speaking about the enlightenent and how
man declared himself to bbe in charge
of a rational world
and what had been lost from the spirituual realm

he would go to a house on the prarie
calm quiet
imposed boredom
and wait and listen to his inner realm and the subtle and sometimes dramatic changes to the quiet unchanging prarie home and write

he says it's like jacob wrestling with the angel
we got ta wrestle with something stronger than ourselves
jacob made th angel tell him his name

he wrestles with his boredom

an you are right exactly

gawd propoze an cro-magnon dispoze
homo sapienz clever folk
they gwan grow up one fine day

i gotta amigo
pakistani doc khan
he say he kin ta shaka khan
he went ta mecca
i can see and sense th change in him
he is deeper sensitized to th core
i was talkin wid him bout old angel gabrial
he says oh yeah, "jebrial"
our gabe is their jeb yeah
an our abe is their ib
he says that when abraham was
there was no religion
just god
an he says it's the same today
just one god

an like i says to him
i'm a universalist too brother

an he's sitting there doing his doctor dictation an a lady is standing there at th station looking at th tribune an she says something like
oh those islams are all alike
they just want to kill people
an this good doctor pulls his neck into his torso
an i say something to her like
oh no that's not true
most of them are just like us
and there are christians that only want to be violent too
besides blah blah it's hamas not all of them
we have to find a way towards peace there without
having another war blah blah

so later i sees him around an says like
hey brother!
it's good


yeah i get to see more little kids that i never thought i would
kids in th jewel mines upstairs
little kids pulled in red wagons with little IV heplocks
pulled along by big sisters and brothers and young parents
down in th glass hallway to oz
my two step-grandsons mercy
watching them grown up
amazing amazing amazing

still
ya gots a gogolo's paradise
man
loverly ladies ta walk with
brother

too hot in texas lately ta walk?

well
glad i can count on you ta be ere for me
man
wish i could get ta meet ya
but i ain't ripe fer skype yaknow

speakin of ripe
i am ripped
an next week when i yam taking auStin to th Rays baseball camp
i wanna be straighght
so
i gotta do it
wana find my deep straighght mynde
sooon
but not today
one more for the road
gwan roll it a good juicy hairy one
an toke it into the afternoon
outdoor paradise backyard satori

"What hashish gives with one hand it takes away with the other: that is to say, it gives the power of imagination and takes away the ability to profit by it." Baudelaire (1860)
http://www.nevdgp.org.au/info/std_misc/ ... aQuit.html

thanks to th aussies
i googled "quitting marijuana" feeling lucky
rolled up the rest. combo'd th sweet grass with th middlin grass an mulched it all up yup
an rolled three sweet ones, my last, plus smoked th hash dust i was savin up for a compressor, compressed it with my roller
a hash cigarrette
then have smoked the first one
an plan ta smoke up th last ones this afternoon
don't know what or where i will go
tomorrow i will be writhing anyhow
because the dude is not here during the day
just after 5 pm
he got a straight job

if i have to i will commit myself
that's better than omitting myself
mercy

i have ta stop now
keeryzst

oh my ya can not delete a blank page
a tabla raza
oh yes ya can
by not surviving long enough to paint your masterpieces
as a metaphor for life what canst thou say
what can i do if i live awhile in relative sanity now
as th zen therapist friend says i yam better than ever before
"I suspect that you are better than ever right now, so why not quit? I think you are ready now!" straight on eyeballs steady i knew he was reinforcing my subconscious mynd as i was taking it inward, duhhh, as well as when he said, like, wow, man, like, "You can do it." my plan is to quit cold turkey at once, and it is happening right now. oh 7:11 pm

7:11 pm
post marijuana era must begin
i have ta win right now the game is on
right now
http://www.nevdgp.org.au/info/std_misc/ ... aQuit.html
straight up yup

well being creative is not always fast
i got an upgrade of anti-depressant
from effexor to pristiq
same med a newer model more pure
my need for pot is not exactly over
but smoking less
exploring waves of cloudiness
and fear going thru withdrawal territory
which is not really physical
just mental trouble
i love being high
easy puffs
relaxed
but\
that crystal clear palace
inside my haid wants out
so the game is on
exploring new territory
in this new life unfolding onward
i won i lost
get to go to the jewel mines
10th year anniversary
pot is pot is not pot is

I notice I write more when I am stoned. The words just pour out. I think I am so clever when I am stoned.

For what it is worth.

I been contemplating puttting in my life in the wind again to help my sister and brother in law, when I am stoned it seems like a good idea, but when I am not stoned I think about what a disaster it will be. I dread being homeless again.

I been stoned the last day or so, you can probably tell from the way I been spilling my guts. I been enjoying not being stoned. I don't write as much. I am enjoying not being stoned as much as being stoned lately.

best wishes jim I just write this for your info, for what it is worth.


I been feeling like a vampire lately, I can hardly go out side in the daylight without getting a hell of a head ache. I think it is the Naproxen.

I laid my motor cycle over again, waiting for a new clutch lever. My motorcycle is my therapist, it makes me happy. I would rather be sailing but I don't have the money for a sailboat.

Hemingway said his typewriter was his therapist, but I guess it let him down, and he tried to use his shot gun as a therapist.
Virginia Woolf said he friends were her therapists. I suppose that is how I feel too.

I am okay jim.
thanks for the PM's

"Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s the determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal that will enable you to attain the success you seek" Mario Andretti (race car driver)

Quitting cannabis is like learning a new skill. The more effort you put into it the more skilled you become. Apply yourself to the task and you will notice an improvement. If you feel tempted into getting stoned, remind yourself that it is a thing of suspicious value and you no longer need it.

Here are some comments by people who have given up.

"I gave up because I was in a rut. It was easier than I thought."
"My friends and work mates have noticed how much happier and positive I am now that I don’t smoke."
"I have more time now to enjoy my friends and family."
"I have some funny memories about getting stoned. I sometimes miss it but I would not go back to that lifestyle anymore."
"I hated going out to buy grass, it wasted so much time and money. I don’t have to worry about this now."
"I felt myself getting paranoid and withdrawn every time I had dope. Now I actually talk to people at parties and enjoy getting into conversations."
"Dope used to be my big excuse for not doing anything in my life. Now I have given up my mind is a lot clearer. I see things in a new way."
"I am surprisingly more relaxed and peaceful now that I have quit."

i would not feel so all alone
nobody else wants ta get stowneddd
April left for England, duh,
Brian is up north by Lake Michigan's western shoreline
nobody
thanks
just cyberstonnedduh you
mercy

like what baudy larry said sadly above

sat out backstill up
2:42 am

crystal clear satori
over the waterfalll
in th morn
the first step
controlled hard to get
nigh impossible
08/10/09
turn the key

you migh highway hero
mirror
I need a cigarete
but just let me say
I don't see where the pot has cost you no gain
only the back and forth dithering about to quit
beats me jimboloco
I am telling you this because I have said so many things. so many tom fool things to you that I figure one more won't matter.

I got a cross to bear
and a Buddha to work on
I am playing both ends against the middle
with a flame on both ends of the candle
ain't living long like this
but what the hell
maybe next time I got born as a human
I will be much smarter
I might come back as a sister

Meanwhile I will probably be busted down to lizard third class, have my amygdala re-programmed.

I don't how those quotes relate to you jimbo
I still enjoy
but less is more.
one of the things I think about when I consider the move.

Them bitter herbs
but I am not doing the serotonin things
I hope you are being vigilant about interactions.

I need a cigarette.

Maybe you got to dither about it
I don't know
You give all those quotes about people who felt like they were total losers in life because they were smoking pot.

I can't get my head around the idea of you as a loser.

I like going without pot for long periods
especially at times when my I Ching warns me I am about to be blind sided.

I smoke it when I want to smoke it and I don't when I don't want to. Easy for me to do that because I don't keep much around. If I move in with the bear and his wife it will be around all the time.

I started out as pre-med
fifty years ago
I don't know
no higher calling than healer maybe Teacher.

you my walking talking miracle from vietnam
doing good work
a valuable man
I will dither with you
any time

Ya know I been into the bitter herbs the last twenty some hours. So I hope you are taking this with a puff of smoke, first time I smoked in a while because I been trying to deal with making a decision that I have been dithering about for a month. Like I said above.


not to change the subject

Here is the only good thing to come out of Iraq so far

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You give all those quotes about people who felt like they were total losers in life because they were smoking pot.

Here are some comments by people who have given up.

"I gave up because I was in a rut. It was easier than I thought."
"My friends and work mates have noticed how much happier and positive I am now that I don’t smoke."
"I have more time now to enjoy my friends and family."
"I have some funny memories about getting stoned. I sometimes miss it but I would not go back to that lifestyle anymore."
"I hated going out to buy grass, it wasted so much time and money. I don’t have to worry about this now."
"I felt myself getting paranoid and withdrawn every time I had dope. Now I actually talk to people at parties and enjoy getting into conversations."
"Dope used to be my big excuse for not doing anything in my life. Now I have given up my mind is a lot clearer. I see things in a new way."
"I am surprisingly more relaxed and peaceful now that I have quit."

I can't get my head around the idea of you as a loser.


ggeee THANKS wally!

i ike your affirmations.

realy jawb is better than ever i yam doing relief charge more, plus am mentoring the interns and new ladies, plus am making references etc,
\did a code on a old guy sunday
his son and daughterinlaw had visited for 3 hours that afternoon

i come in later, give him a shot of demerol for his cracked t-9
then returned to check and he was kool

i said "i've gotta get a urine sample"
he says "what for?" i said to check your chemistry!
he says, "oh, you'rs gonna check my chemistry,eh? ha ha"

several minutes later i went back and he was cold, i had ta call a code
went so smooth the hospital boss lady said so
i took him to ICU
th heart beat brought back with meds, ventilated
his son came back, cried a little, was waiting outside th ICU

didn't remember about his dad's last little chuckle and so now i yam writing to my chappie buddy, th one who calls me johnny depp, i call him chappie jorge, so i can let th son know his pops was in a happy mood, i think he let it go, really, he was faced with pain, a difficult surgery, downgrade from independence to nursing care home, etc.

ok so now i will smoke one, my first for today.

back an forth ditheriong, really.

a different approach, maybe, commence tai chi

later with my head fixed.
Ya know I been into the bitter herbs the last twenty some hours. So I hope you are taking this with a puff of smoke, first time I smoked in a while because I been trying to deal with making a decision that I have been dithering about for a month. Like I said above.


nice ta have yer own space, your brother th bear is a doc an he smokes weed?

still i can see th sterilility of a senyor only complex
not fer me, i would aks th bear if i could have my own room and an allowance of weed in exchange for agape vibes in th home

an if it don't work, move into a brothel like toulose latrec

still straight.

Too long a trip to explain
I am very happy here.
This is home sweet home.
I don't want to live with anyone
I am a solitary soul.
And that don't make me sad at all
It is who I am.


I have no desire to move.
Except to help them out
And pave another mile on the road to hell with good intentions.
Probably

check this out jim

jury duty, hester prynne


For what it isworth
I was more Willin without the the weed whites and wine
When I was a rookie driver rolling joints and steering with my elbows
I was okay for the first thousand miles
I found out that if you want to run over night trips from Chicago to Dallas or SaNaTo to LA
number two diesel has to be your number one drug
But I would save up time off and smoke my brains out and I never failed a random whiz quiz. I always gave myself enough time to let me kidneys do their job. The closest I ever cut it was five days from last smoke to ready for dispatch.
I may have been a fair to middling truck driver but I could piss straight.

I been reading what you been posting about the oaths
The Quakers have dithered some on that I think
George F. and Margaret F.F. were against the swearing of oaths, but now you can "affirm: that you will tell the truth and nothing but.



you ever thought about working casual?
you know like take a week off when ever you wanted?
smoke a couple days and then drink a lot of water for five or six days?



sounds to me like you make your decisions the way I do

paint myself into a corner.

so what is the worst that could happen?
For me it would be
being homeless again.

Well glad I could cheer you up
InFriendship
jt