I didn't write this poem/song about Baltimore

[Doreen Peri]

Talking on the phone last night, I told my friend, Kevin, aka The Baron, Dr. Otto von Wheezenkoff, in the Flying Circus at Bealton, VA, that I was going to Baltimore in a couple weeks to perform some poetry in a show.

He replied, "Oh? Well I wrote a poem about Baltimore. It's sort of a song. Would you like to hear it? Of COURSE, you would!"

"Hehe. Yes! Of COURSE, I would," I said.

And here's what he recited ...

Take me back to Baltimore.
It's the town that I adore.
Each corner features a beautiful whore
Standing in front of the liquor store.

[constantine]

own up to it!

[WIREMAN]

actually it's a
drug dealer these
daze D
it's called "Charm City"
though and parts of
it are enchanting

[bennie2]

ha, people "walking the streets" seems to be a common theme in baltimore.

"...And every night when I'd come home with every muscle sore
She'd drag me through the Streets of Baltimore
Well I did my best to bring her back to what she used to be
Then I soon learned she loved those bright lights more than she loved me
Now I'm-a-going back on that same train that brought me here before
While my baby walks the streets of Baltimore
While my baby walks the streets of Baltimore"
Streets of Baltimore - Glaser/Howard (as sung by one of my Men!, Gram parsons)

[westcoast]

yes, well, the good Dr. Wheezenkoff may never be a literary giant, but he does look cute in a Prussian helmet fun thread!

~westcoast

[Doreen Peri]

constantine - ok... i confess. I didn't write this, Kevin did. ahhh but did you click the link? Do you think that person actually exists? He looks like a cartoon! Dr. Otto von Wheezenkoff. Yeah right. heh

wireman - WHAT? no whores? yer kidding? where'd they go? DC?

bennie - i think i know that tune..... hmmm.. do i know that tune? the lyrics sure sound familiar.. I need to hear it. Wonder why it's such a common theme.

westie - and you should see him in his matching bathrobe (it goes well with the helmet) at the airshow teaching the crowd how to do the german birthday salute right before he gets in his plane and flies it to pull off the clothes of a lovely young lady. No kidding.

But i will have to disagree with you about his literary talents... Just read this! He wrote these, too!

I had a terrible dream last night
about flying a plane made of masonite.
It rolled and pitched with such a fright
but still I made it home alright.

and he sings this one that he also wrote

Gonna wack you with a stick, little kid.
You made me so mad that I done flipped my lid.
You're going to wish that you had run off and hid.
When I wack you with a stick, little kid.

Brilliant stuff.

[westcoast]

brilliant! strange i've not heard of him before....lol

[Doreen Peri]

brilliant! strange i've not heard of him before....lol

I know! Why is that? That's been my daughter's favorite song since she was about 6.

Where you been, westie?

lol

[WIREMAN]

gilded palace of sin
FLYING BURRITO BROTHERS

there's whores in baltimore
read my old litkicks stuff
when i had my wireman gallery
in highlandtown 2001-02

they only come out at night

i've walked those streets

from sowebo to canton
federal hill to hampden
head on a swivel
walking the razor's flip
hands to numb to feel
the grip..